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Thank you for visiting. Content MAY BE TRIGGERING ESPECIALLY FOR THOSE WHO HAVE EXPERIENCED ABUSE, STRUGGLE WITH SELF-INJURY, SUICIDE, DEPRESSION OR AN EATING DISORDER. Contains graphic descriptions of suicidal thoughts, self-injury and emotional, physical and sexual abuse. Do not read further if you are not in a safe place. If you are triggered, please reach out to your support system, a mental health professional or call 911.

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Disclaimer: Although I have worked with persons with mental illness for twenty years, I do not have a Master's Degree or a license. This is not meant to be a substitute for mental health care or treatment. Please obtain professional assistance from the resources listed on the right of the page, if needed. And call 911 if you or someone is in immediate danger.

A key word that you will see:

Fragmentation: a mental process where a person becomes intensely emotionally focused on one aspect of themselves, such as “I am angry” or “no one loves me,” to the point where all thoughts, feelings and behavior demonstrate this emotional state, in which, the person does not or is unable to take into account the reality of their environment, others or themselves and their resources. This is a term that my therapist and I use and is on the continuum of dissociation.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

My Truth ~ My Childhood Words Part II

I decided to do another Wordle as the first one was so powerful and cathartic for me. However, this time I put the tougher words that I don't even want to say and focused only on my childhood and not the present.

To create your own or to see full size click on the picture.


Wandering Coyote said...

I just did a Wordle, but I've found that Firefox really doesn't like it for some reason and my browser keeps crashing. I created it in IE 7 but when I click on the image on my blog, which is in Firefox, everything goes all wonky. Ah well; it's a neat concept and a cool site.

Clueless said...

Try looking at the site and emailing for help.

Unknown said...

Thanks for the wordle. I tried it and liked it....

Clueless said...

I liked yours and left you a message. This thing is really spreading.

Mr B The Tech Teacher said...

*hugs much*
I hope you are ok after delving so deep, please don't push yourself too hard hun!

Once again, a very powerful wordle and one that gives us deep insight into your soul. You're so brave and strong to be able to dig this deep into yourself and pull out the emotions that lie there.


Clueless said...

Shiv, thank you. I'm having a tough time all around. Although this was gut wrenching to do, it helped me put into words what has been going on in my head. I've been going from being really angry with homicidal thoughts, to sad, to suicidal to really depressed. The suicidal ideation and cutting have moved into the planning stages. I spoke with my therapist over the weekend and he said that this is to be expected because on Thursday I ended up having a double session with the last hour of me just expressing my anger toward my mom and some of the things that my step father's mother did to me which I've never, ever talked about. Just a rough time, but the Wordle helped me from not cutting...still the urge is really strong. CK helped me out on Saturday...we emailed back and forth. Thank you for your support and my plan is to slow things down a bit.

Anonymous said...

You are a brave soul.
The mother in me wants to hug the little girl in you so completely!

We are here with you!

Clueless said...

Ash, thank you. These past couple of weeks have been particularly excruciating. It is nice to know that I am not alone. Thank you for the hugs...I feel them even though you did not mention them.

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