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Thank you for visiting. Content MAY BE TRIGGERING ESPECIALLY FOR THOSE WHO HAVE EXPERIENCED ABUSE, STRUGGLE WITH SELF-INJURY, SUICIDE, DEPRESSION OR AN EATING DISORDER. Contains graphic descriptions of suicidal thoughts, self-injury and emotional, physical and sexual abuse. Do not read further if you are not in a safe place. If you are triggered, please reach out to your support system, a mental health professional or call 911.

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Disclaimer: Although I have worked with persons with mental illness for twenty years, I do not have a Master's Degree or a license. This is not meant to be a substitute for mental health care or treatment. Please obtain professional assistance from the resources listed on the right of the page, if needed. And call 911 if you or someone is in immediate danger.

A key word that you will see:

Fragmentation: a mental process where a person becomes intensely emotionally focused on one aspect of themselves, such as “I am angry” or “no one loves me,” to the point where all thoughts, feelings and behavior demonstrate this emotional state, in which, the person does not or is unable to take into account the reality of their environment, others or themselves and their resources. This is a term that my therapist and I use and is on the continuum of dissociation.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Past & Present all in my head and feelings!! ~ Slideshow I

This slide show will be triggering, so if you are not in a good place do not watch it!!! Don't even try to push yourself!! If you are triggered, please go to your safe places and people. You can also blog or write a long comment. I don't mind and Blogger seems to take it. Be gentle with yourself.

I wasn't feeling up to writing, but felt like I really wanted to finish this slide show that I've been working on. It is a way to tell myself and others what has been going on inside due to my current work in therapy and the flashbacks. I am overwhelmed, but I feel good about the slideshow. Yet, a little ashamed and embarrased as I again feel like I'm showing you a little too much of my soul. But, there must be a part of me that wants to share it; otherwise, I would not have posted it. It was also helpful for me in expressing, in someway, what it feels like in my head and my body. I think I will also put it up in my sidebar, but it will be more difficult to see.


Mike Golch said...

On mt wordpress site I posted something that you might enjoy. I tried to post it on my blogger site but it wouls not post. it is called Cardboard Testimonies.
Hugs and God's Blessing Mike G.said that!

Mike Golch said...

Hi I'm Mike G. a recovering alacolic.I am Bipolor,I have PTSD,I have attempted susicide several time.in general a trainwreck that has been saved by God.and am trying to live each day one day at a time,and I have have helped one person that I have Honored my Heavenly Father as well as my Late Father and Mother.
Hugs and God's Blessings. Mike G.said that.and now yo know a lot more about me.
I am glad that you stopped by my blog and shared with me the things about you,and that you enjoyed the Cardboard testimonies.

Laura said...

Your slide show is truly amazing. So much emotion displayed in there. I think this was a great idea. Keep fighting your demons and never give up.

Clueless said...


Thank you...and I will keep fighting. Doing the slide show was very therapeutic. As always, your support and encouragement is a really appreciated and helpful.

Tamara (TC) Staples said...


Wow! Great job with the slideshow. That was a lot of work. I think it is beautiful that you can share so much of yourself. I know it is scary as I am feeling a bit of the same but finding our voices is HUGE!


Clueless said...


Thanks and yes, I am finding my voice.

Strong and determined said...

Thank you for the slide show. I could really relate to the things you put into it. Especially this one: "Pain doesn't hurt - when it's all you've ever felt."
You've put so much into your blog. Thanks for sharing so much.

Clueless said...

Thank you!! Yes, sometimes, I feel a little to open and vulnerable like I'm sharing my soul. The slide show was like that, but I feel good about it. This felt good to prepare and to share.

jumpinginpuddles said...

this is a very clever conceptual way of telling us about how you are well done for doing so.

Clueless said...


Thank you.

Doc said...

This is a really powerful and emotion evoking presentaion. It contains enough diversity of stimuli to touch almost everyone. I found myself responding strongly to several of the phrases and images.
A quick answer to your comment on Doc's Place would be to click the live link to the Stylus 1010. Obviously I am biased because that is the one I decided upon for myself. Other features may be more important to you, and they will be out there somewhere. If you want details on any of my thinking, or whatever, feel free to email me at tabloodphd@gmail.com

Peace, Doc

Clueless said...


Thank you for the comments on the slideshow and for the information regarding the camera. Nice transition between the two subjects. :-)

Take care,

Anonymous said...

I know you blame me for all of your pain
I'm nothing but a scared little girl
Those two are quite powerful for me.
This is like a sideshow collage. Awesome job.

Clueless said...

Yes, I was thinking it was a collage, but much neater. The two you mentioned were powerful for me. The first one was such a find. I'm glad that you were able to watch it.


Isaiah 49 :15 -16

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