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Thank you for visiting. Content MAY BE TRIGGERING ESPECIALLY FOR THOSE WHO HAVE EXPERIENCED ABUSE, STRUGGLE WITH SELF-INJURY, SUICIDE, DEPRESSION OR AN EATING DISORDER. Contains graphic descriptions of suicidal thoughts, self-injury and emotional, physical and sexual abuse. Do not read further if you are not in a safe place. If you are triggered, please reach out to your support system, a mental health professional or call 911.

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Disclaimer: Although I have worked with persons with mental illness for twenty years, I do not have a Master's Degree or a license. This is not meant to be a substitute for mental health care or treatment. Please obtain professional assistance from the resources listed on the right of the page, if needed. And call 911 if you or someone is in immediate danger.

A key word that you will see:

Fragmentation: a mental process where a person becomes intensely emotionally focused on one aspect of themselves, such as “I am angry” or “no one loves me,” to the point where all thoughts, feelings and behavior demonstrate this emotional state, in which, the person does not or is unable to take into account the reality of their environment, others or themselves and their resources. This is a term that my therapist and I use and is on the continuum of dissociation.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Where Am I?

I just wanted to let you know that Christmas went well, but triggered things that I don't quite know what it is, yet. I am feeling depressed, withdrawn and very protective. I know that I've numbed out. Seems like I'm afraid to talk or do anything right now. I am working with this in therapy and I'm okay. Just not quite ready to write or even talk about what is going on. Oh, and I am really tired, but still having disruptive sleeping. I wish I could say more, but that is all for now.

9 comments:

Anonymous Drifter said...

I hope the sleeping problems straighten out. Sleep is so important to our mental health. Write when you're feeling able. Take care of you during this time.

J said...

Hello. I'm sorry to hear that christmas didnt go too well. I know you'll be okay though because you are Very strong and you can make it through anything including this. not sure if it matters coming from a 26 year old blogger from Northern california but I'm super proud of you! You are a great example of strength and courage. Take care, I'll be praying for you.

-J

Wandering Coyote said...

Glad things went well overall, despite the triggering. I had a triggering experience on Christmas Eve, but got through it OK and generally feel OK now. Take care!

Snow White Queen said...

Hope you feel better. Keep me posted

Mike Golch said...

sorry that you are having a rough time.Take heart in knowing that we are out here and care. warm thoughts headed your way.I hope that you have an enjoyabe New Years.

jeff said...

I pray a warm and healing new year for you CC. One filled with love, caring and understanding

Van said...

The sleep is a killer, I know! Just make sure you take care of yourself.

V

Clueless said...

@Drifter. Thanks, but despite medications, I haven't had regular sleep for eight years. Actually, most of my life. However, right now, I feel tired.

@J. Thank you. Of course, your opinion matters. I'm old enough and wise enough, HA, to know that I can learn from everyone of all ages and backgrounds from infants to the elderly. Now, being from So. Cal., I'm not sure the No. Cal...that I might have a problem with. Just kidding. Thank you again for your support.

@Wandering Coyote. Thank you. I hate triggers.

@Thanks, Snow White Queen.

@Mike. Thanks. You have a great new year!! I hope this one is better for you.

@Jeff. Thank you...I'm glad I found your blog.

@Van. Thanks. I appreciate your support.

Scraps said...

(((hugs)))

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