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A key word that you will see:

Fragmentation: a mental process where a person becomes intensely emotionally focused on one aspect of themselves, such as “I am angry” or “no one loves me,” to the point where all thoughts, feelings and behavior demonstrate this emotional state, in which, the person does not or is unable to take into account the reality of their environment, others or themselves and their resources. This is a term that my therapist and I use and is on the continuum of dissociation.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Enjoy our differences!!!

The above diagram is a very small percentage of a PDF file entitled "Xmas for Engineers," that my husband brought home for me. I thought it was hilarious and it was written as an actual diagram proposal. I floated through his company extremely fast.

To me it shows the differences about how everyone, not just men and women, approach problems, emotions, life etc. differently. For my husband, it needs to make objective, logical sense and be detailed.

Fortunately, he also has another side that can deal with emotions and social interactions well; however, he is an introvert. As am I, which means that social contact is draining for us versus extroverts for whom social contact is energizing.

I love my husband and learning how he thinks. From there, I go to how to we approach this problem taking into account both of our problem solving styles. I don't try to change him. I love just simply getting to know him better. I'm glad that he has a sense of humour about his own profession as do I. Oh, what I could share...

In the meantime, celebrate each other's differences. Don't try to change them. Appreciate that they think differently because it makes us a better person. Work with the differences instead of trying to make them think like you do.

"Okay, dear...you go ahead with the Christmas decorations. I've planned to go shopping for a few days is that enough time?" Sorry, if I offended any engineers!! We couldn't live without you!! :-)


Laura said...

What a great post and so true!

jumpinginpuddles said...

We miss your comments on our blog, so just wnated to know we are thinking of you and sending you safe warm thoughts this xmas
have a awesome new year, we have a year in review sitting on our blog if you want to read it :)

kw said...

I love it!

Unless people are harming others through thought, action or creed, I celebrate our individuality.

I have met some truly strange and bizarre people, many of whom are no doubt pillars in their own right.

The great thing is that you can learn so much from listening to others. Often, this includes discoveries about yourself.

I am a tad non-conventional, so those who are conventional seem odd to me. But we can all meet as decent people, with respect, humility and often humour.

I hope this year brings you much peace and joy, as well as health and happiness. Your shining strength in the face of such struggles, is a beacon of hope to countless others.

J said...

I love this post. I love the fact that you embrace each others differences instead of trying to mold e/o into something that you are not. Your relationship sounds like a great one :)

Clueless said...

@Drifter. Yes, indeed.

@JIP. I miss you too and think of you often. I still read your blog, but I'm having a rough time. You remain in my thoughts and prayers. May you be blessed with love, joy, peace and happiness this holiday season.

@Dano. Thank you and I really appreciate all of your support and encouragement during this past year. May your New Year Be filled with joy and light.

@J. Yes, we have a great relationship. Funny how I never wanted to be married. I'm glad I followed the Lord's lead on this one!!

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