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Thank you for visiting. Content MAY BE TRIGGERING ESPECIALLY FOR THOSE WHO HAVE EXPERIENCED ABUSE, STRUGGLE WITH SELF-INJURY, SUICIDE, DEPRESSION OR AN EATING DISORDER. Contains graphic descriptions of suicidal thoughts, self-injury and emotional, physical and sexual abuse. Do not read further if you are not in a safe place. If you are triggered, please reach out to your support system, a mental health professional or call 911.

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Disclaimer: Although I have worked with persons with mental illness for twenty years, I do not have a Master's Degree or a license. This is not meant to be a substitute for mental health care or treatment. Please obtain professional assistance from the resources listed on the right of the page, if needed. And call 911 if you or someone is in immediate danger.

A key word that you will see:

Fragmentation: a mental process where a person becomes intensely emotionally focused on one aspect of themselves, such as “I am angry” or “no one loves me,” to the point where all thoughts, feelings and behavior demonstrate this emotional state, in which, the person does not or is unable to take into account the reality of their environment, others or themselves and their resources. This is a term that my therapist and I use and is on the continuum of dissociation.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Vengeance & Homicidal Rage Fantasies!!!

Warning!!! Trigger Warning!!! Warning!!!

This slideshow contains graphic images of homicidal fantasies that are gory, bloody and disturbing. Do not continue if you do not want to see these images!!

You could go to Courageous Steps and read a poem that really resonated with me that was written by Mary from Nippercat's Home or see some of my fingerpainting that has not been posted here on Clinically Clueless.

9 comments:

Border Life said...

So many of these images are so haunting, and have stuck with me since I saw them on your flickr account.

eeabee said...

I hope expressing these experiences and emotions helps, especially with not turning the rage/hate inward. My first impulse is to turn anger inward instead of expressing it and this is a good reminder that there are other ways of coping than taking it out on myself.

Clueless said...

BL ~ I was really hesitant to post this as it is so private and graphic. I'm glad you watched it.

eeabee, this really helped to sort things out that have been going on within me and was cathartic. However, it was extremely difficult. In the slideshow, I see myself going back and forth from outward to inward. But, at least there is an outward now.

Melinda said...

CC, This is an amazing slide show you have put together--it is so artistically done and SO powerful. You have summed up in these images what every single one of us who have suffered from the hell of abuse have felt. Thank you for sharing it.

I do agree with eeabee and that is that I hope that putting together these images was healing--a way of helping you work through the rage. It's important (so important) to get it all out.

Hugs to you, CC--you are in my thoughts every day.

Melinda

Clueless said...

Thank you Melinda...now, I am crying...

Immi said...

Very powerful. Very haunting.

Clueless said...

Thanks for watching it Immi.

Mary said...

CC: What a powerful slide show, I was able to watch most of it, but then had to stop, I wish I could express some of these feelings, especially the rage and anger. I hope and pray that putting this together will help you in your healing, My heart goes out to you. take care my friend..Mary

Clueless said...

Mary,

I'm really glad that you tried to watch it and got through most of it. It is difficult for me to watch. This is a really necessary part of therapy, the rage, but it is really difficult. You can't get throught it, but it takes real committment and a good therapist.

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