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Thank you for visiting. Content MAY BE TRIGGERING ESPECIALLY FOR THOSE WHO HAVE EXPERIENCED ABUSE, STRUGGLE WITH SELF-INJURY, SUICIDE, DEPRESSION OR AN EATING DISORDER. Contains graphic descriptions of suicidal thoughts, self-injury and emotional, physical and sexual abuse. Do not read further if you are not in a safe place. If you are triggered, please reach out to your support system, a mental health professional or call 911.

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Disclaimer: Although I have worked with persons with mental illness for twenty years, I do not have a Master's Degree or a license. This is not meant to be a substitute for mental health care or treatment. Please obtain professional assistance from the resources listed on the right of the page, if needed. And call 911 if you or someone is in immediate danger.

A key word that you will see:

Fragmentation: a mental process where a person becomes intensely emotionally focused on one aspect of themselves, such as “I am angry” or “no one loves me,” to the point where all thoughts, feelings and behavior demonstrate this emotional state, in which, the person does not or is unable to take into account the reality of their environment, others or themselves and their resources. This is a term that my therapist and I use and is on the continuum of dissociation.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Be Very Afraid...I'm B-A-C-K!!!

Well, I am going to start blogging again before I lose all my readers. Just kidding. First, I want to thank everyone for such an over-whelming display of support, prayers and thoughts. I have been very peaceful throughout the process since I met the surgeon. Unusually, so. My Christian faith has a big roll in it, but I know it is also what you guys did. I really felt good to have so many people thinking about me.

The surgery went smoothly. I don’t have the pathology report yet, but will find out what it is on Wednesday afternoon and I will let you know. Pain yes…Vicodin good, but last dose was on Friday. So a bit more pain, but tolerable. The most difficult part is that I am allergic to bandage adhesive, even the paper type. So, all around the perimeter of my underarm is this horrible redness with small blisters that opened and it itches like crazy!! I’ve never had such a bad reaction. It looks worse than the incision. I guess, the underarm skin is much more sensitive than the rest of the body, duh!!

My husband stayed home from Wednesday (surgery) through Friday, so today is the first day I’m at home alone. I let my husband pamper me. Surgery and my husband being home was a good distraction from my therapist being gone. I really miss him and that is normal and not bad. I see my psychiatrist tomorrow and then my therapist on Wednesday.

Over the weekend, I had my hair cut while I almost fell asleep due to medications. I’m not sure I like my haircut. I like it, but I keep wondering if I look like a boy. It is one of those boy-chic for girls look. My husband thinks I look cute with it…but he is biased!!

Other exciting things, I won flowers at the
GO! Smell the Flowers site for my words of inspiration about the world heading into a recession. In case, you missed it I am a guest writer there and having a great time. So far, I’ve written two articles, one is GO! Step Outside Your Comfort Zone and the second is GO! Ask for Support . I’ll start writing at least one time per week beginning Wednesday. Please take a look because you will see a different side of me. Plus, it is a really, really good site, but you just have to jump in with your comments.

13 comments:

Wandering Coyote said...

Glad that the surgery went well and that you are on the mend. The skin irritation sounds nasty - I hope it goes away soon! Ouch!

Take good care!

Mike Golch said...

Glads to hear the surgery went well and welcome back,I missed your blog.

Clueless said...

Thank you and it is ouch!! On my back it usually takes 3-4 months for the burn like rash to go away. But, everything is good...I thinks.

mini uk said...

so glad to see you are back! Under your arm does sound sore, take extra care of you x

mini uk

Anonymous Drifter said...

Glad all went well. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

svasti said...

Welcome back CC - even though you managed to post comments over at GSTF enough it felt like you didn't go anywhere for long.

Fingers crossed for a good prognosis :)

jumpinginpuddles said...

we are so glad you are back and feeling resonably ok

Chunks of Reality said...

Great to see you back! I hope that your incision heals quickly!!

Snow White Queen said...

Don't be a stranger :)

Immi said...

Welcome back CC. :) I'm glad to see you back, and super glad your surgery went well. The skin irritation sounds really nasty. I am allergic to the adhesive in all curad brand products but not band aid brand products. Maybe if you have to have something "glued" to you again, they can try a different brand to maybe avoid that? Definitely got my fingers crossed for a good results on the path.

Ash said...

Oh my gosh how I've missed you!

Happy healing!!!

Tamara said...

Yay. Clueless!

Glad you are back. Fingers crossed on the pathology report. Too bad about the irritation from the bandage.

Take care and I am very happy that things went well.

Hugs,
Tamara

Oh, and we would NEVER forget you!

Clueless said...

I keep meaning to come back to this post and comment to everyone, but just haven't been able to do it. But, thank you everyone for the warm welcome. It feels really good to have such support.

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