MY 100th POST...WOW!!!!!

Today, I have reached a milestone and I am proud of it. Since I began Clinically Clueless on 5/8/08, I have posted 99 posts, so this is officially number 100. Wow!! I can’t believe it. When I started, I really did not know what a blog was and had seen only a few. I also had never looked at a mental health or personal journal type. Well, now I feel like, even though, it has been just over two months that I’ve seen, read and written much.

I also have grown personally and it has helped my therapy process tremendously along with my Internet skills. Writing about my past, having people read and know, receiving affirmation & encouragement & support and redirection has been especially helpful. I don’t feel so alone and I feel like I can say whatever I need to…now, whether or not I want to or am read is a whole different thing. I also don't feel so alone with the the struggles I share that are going on currently.

I also feel like I’m gaining my voice back by making comments on other people’s blogs, becoming active in some of the social networking communities, becoming more outspoken, being more assertive, being edgy (stirring the pot, which is what I am like when I am not depressed), accepting and letting compliments sink in without deflecting most of the time.

I really want to thank everyone who has encouraged and supported me and even those who haven’t for that has been a learning experience and helped me to grow. Three “communities” have been influential in this process the Experience Project, Godlinked and most importantly, GO! Smell the Flowers (GSTF). GSTF is a great place to go for a break. They have many contributors from all over the world with all sorts of different view points and backgrounds. There are several posts a day and can range from hilarious, odd, zany, serious, makes you think to I never thought of that. Check them out and get involved in their community...no one has bitten yet, but there are so many view points which can make for some heated topics. Most roses come with thorns remember. But, they have been a place where I feel I can really be myself with my opinions and all...I am becoming brave there.

I’m sorry if I don’t mention you specifically, but everyone along the last two months have been important to me in my process. However, at the very beginning there are some special bloggers that really welcomed me and helped me to feel accepted and comforted into this strange world. So, I want to say a special thank you to (in no particular order) Catatonic Kid, Shiv’s Brain, The People Behind My Eyes, How is Bradley and Writing to Survive.

I don’t plan to go anywhere for a while. I still need this type of environment to tell my truth~my story of what has happened to me. Besides, I’m only in July of 2005 in my journal and it really takes off in, I thing February of 2006. Thanks for following the confusion of past to present to past past. I know it gets complicated, but it all is interwoven and related to my process.

The thing that I am actually most grateful for is that my blog has helped de-stigmatize mental illness, has encouraged others to open up more in therapy and on their own blogs, has helped others not to feel so alone, and are learning from my experiences. It feels good to know that I can help someone even when I’m depressed and can’t seem to do the things I want for myself. So, happy 100th post to me!! (Next milestone…one year…I have a way to go until then). Thanks again!!! :-)