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A key word that you will see:

Fragmentation: a mental process where a person becomes intensely emotionally focused on one aspect of themselves, such as “I am angry” or “no one loves me,” to the point where all thoughts, feelings and behavior demonstrate this emotional state, in which, the person does not or is unable to take into account the reality of their environment, others or themselves and their resources. This is a term that my therapist and I use and is on the continuum of dissociation.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Yesterday's Session ~ Crying

I just wanted to update you regarding my feeling my emotions and crying. Yesterday, I had a 1 1/2 hour session, which is the same for today, and I sobbed and screamed. I was exhausted afterward, but it really felt good to be able to do that and to have someone listen and be there with me. The unfortunate part is that I am defensively feeling a bit more depressed, and the suicidal thoughts and urges to cut are increased slightly. Overall, I'm doing okay with it. It feels like there is more...what, isn't one time enough? I am proud of myself!!

5 comments:

Bradley said...

I know it's not easy digging up those emotions, but I'm glad you were able to release some of them, even if only a small way. I'm proud of you too.

Clueless said...

Thank you Bradley!

April_optimist said...

Big (((hugs))). I remember the days when I would sit there going over all my reasons not to hurt myself. And my list of what I could do that might let me feel better. Not...not feeling what I felt, but....letting myself take a break from it for a bit so that I'd have the resilience and strength to cope with it later.

Melinda said...

I have done the same thing, honestly--sometimes it feels so good to cry and rage--when you have that inside, it is so important to release it all out. Your posts move me so much. Hugs to you--

Melinda

Clueless said...

Thanks April. I like the hugs. (((April)))

Melinda, thank you. It has been a long time coming...crying. That is where I always get stuck and it feels horrible, but yesterday, I got past it some. It means a lot to me that you read my little ol blog.

Take care,
Clueless

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