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A key word that you will see:

Fragmentation: a mental process where a person becomes intensely emotionally focused on one aspect of themselves, such as “I am angry” or “no one loves me,” to the point where all thoughts, feelings and behavior demonstrate this emotional state, in which, the person does not or is unable to take into account the reality of their environment, others or themselves and their resources. This is a term that my therapist and I use and is on the continuum of dissociation.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

What is this unfamiliar feeling? Hatred!!!

I thought that I was going to be able to do a journal entry on today's session, but it was too much. I did a Wordle instead. Today, as I was talking about "the garage," I felt something that seemed familiar when it was homicidal rage. But, then it became something unfamiliar, hatred. I am trying to figure out what it is, so that is part of the Wordle. Careful it maybe triggering!! And, click on the picture to see a large image. I feel very strange, but I know that it is intense hatred toward my step-father and his father.


Mike Golch said...

just stopped by to say Hi, I hope that you are having a good day.

Wandering Coyote said...

Ouch. I hope you can ride the wave of this overwhelming emotion and get to the other side OK.

Clueless said...

Me too!

Anonymous said...

Honestly, I think this is a healthy and valid response.

I'm glad you feel okay with sharing this, it's a tough emotion to swallow.

Baby steps, right?


Clueless said...

Ash~ Yes, baby steps. I know that this is good, but it doesn't feel good. Thanks for the support and encouragement. I need a cheering section right now.

Tamara (TC) Staples said...


I think hatred is very appropriate for these people and this situation. Good for you that you can feel it and talk about it. I know that is not easy.

I can see so much healing in you just in the length of time that I have been reading your posts. You go!


Clueless said...

Thanks Tamara for the encouragement. I see the progress too, but there is a cost and I'm tired. However, I keep pushing through because I get sick if I let things sit too long.

Clueless said...


It feels good that you see the progress too.

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