First of all, I just need to tell you that I bruised on Tuesday. I know that I’ve been fragmenting with the same thoughts and emotions, but this time like we talked about I’m more withdrawn and quiet. I’ve also been noticing that I’m going away more throughout the day. I had mentioned it is sort of like a flashback of how and how frequently I did that growing up. I actually can’t remember not doing it. Makes me a bit sad.
I know that I need to talk about it with you, but I defend so much against feeling…just being which is what I used to do. Also, I know, I need to talk about the continually tactile and visual flashback of the bugs crawling on me. But, I just don’t want to talk about the garage stuff and I do want to talk. Okay, I'm ambivalent.
I also wanted to discuss L with you because I keep fragmenting with her calling. I know that it is triggering my stuff with my mother. I’m getting angry and feeling trapped about it.