Continuation of PAST JOURNAL ENTRY ~ September 29, 2005
TRIGGER WARNING VERY GRAPHIC DESCRIPTION OF SADISTIC SEXUAL ABUSE!!!
Observations: Unfortunately, this is only the beginning of things that were done to me in the garage. I will be including journal entries of what I remembered. Although three years have past, I currently am "stuck" in therapy regarding crying, rage, talking about some of my current flashbacks of being in the garage, talking about my mother and generally accepting how bad things really were. As a result, my depression and suicidal ideation has increased. But, those are defenses against feeling what I really am feeling which is sadness. It is so difficult for me to go there because I know I need to just cry.