Hover Kitteh

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Chris Tomlin - We Fall Down

Life from two perspectives!!

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Are You Stressed?

Are you stressed now? I am. When I first saw this many, many, many years ago while in college, we were shown a 15 minute segment of it. Our professor suggested that if it was too much for us that we could put our heads down or leave and stay by the building if you were still having problems. I ended up with some others outside. The music is by Philip Glass.

The Hopi word Koyaanisqatsi (English pronunciation: KOY-ah-nis-KAHT-see) means "crazy life, life in turmoil, life out of balance, life disintegrating, a state of life that calls for another way of living." This film entilted Koyaanisqatsi: Life Out of Balance.

The films director Godfrey Reggio stated that the Qatsi films are intended to simply create an experience and that "it is up [to] the viewer to take for himself/herself what it is that [the film] means." He also said that "these films have never been about the effect of technology, of industry on people. It's been that everyone: politics, education, things of the financial structure, the nation state structure, language, the culture, religion, all of that exists within the host of technology. So it's not the effect of, it's that everything exists within [technology]. It's not that we use technology, we live technology. Technology has become as ubiquitous as the air we breathe..."

I decided to use this piece to introduce you to National Stress Management Day which is traditionally on April 16, the day after taxes are due in the US. Other countries have this day and in the US it is actually the whole month.

Stress is the normal emotional, physical and cognitive reaction to events that make you feel threatened or sets you life out of the normal balance . There are two types of stress, eustress and distress. Eustress is the "good type of stress" like weddings, birthday celebrations vacations etc. distress is the "bad type of stress," such as, divorce, death, work, etc. However, both evoke the same type of bodily reactions (fight or flight) which is mostly based in our perception of the stressor.

Everyone experiences stress which in not inherently a "bad" thing. It spurs the flight or fight resonse, so you stay focused, energetic, and alert. In emergency situations, and stress can save your life. I am generally able to handle emergency situation with ease and am able to direct and take control to direct people. It is afterward that I can really feel the stress. Stress is what helps you cope with a during a presentation or contentious meeting at work, sharpens your concentration when you’re attempting the game-winning free throw, or drives you to study for an exam when you'd rather be watching TV.

After a certain point, stress becomes detrimental to you health, mood, productivity, relationship and quality of life. The stress response also helps you rise to meet challenges. Stress is what keeps you on your toes during a presentation at work, sharpens your concentration when you’re attempting the game-winning free throw, or drives you to study for an exam when you'd rather be watching TV.

But beyond a certain point, stress stops being helpful and starts causing major damage to your health, your mood, your productivity, your relationships, your thinking and your quality of life. Stress can have significant damaging effects.

From ChangingMinds.org.

Symptoms of emotional and cognitive stress include:

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  Feeling irritable
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  Feeling frustrated at having to wait for something
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  Feeling restless
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  Unable to concentrate
• 
  
  Becoming easily confused
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  Having memory problems
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  Thinking about negative things all the time
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  Negative self-talk
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  Having marked mood swings
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  Eating too much
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  Eating when you are not hungry
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  Finding it difficult to concentrate
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  Not having enough energy to get things done
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  Feeling you can't cope
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  Finding it hard to make decisions
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  Having emotional outbursts
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  Generally feeling upset
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  Lack of sense of humor

Physical symptoms of stress include:

• 
  
  Muscle tension
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  Low back pain
• 
  
  Pains in shoulders or neck
• 
  
  Pains in chest
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  Stomach/abdominal pain
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  Muscle spasms or nervous tics
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  Unexplained rashes or skin irritations
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  'Pounding' or 'racing' heart
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  Sweaty palms
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  Sweating when not physically active
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  'Butterflies' in stomach
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  Indigestion and 'the gurgles'
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  Diarrhea
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  Unable to sleep or excessive sleep
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  Shortness of breath
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  Holding breath

Below is a short video of way of coping with stress. I would also add meditation, prayer, minfulness, breathing exercises, doing something for yourself (a warm bath, deep breathing exercises and taking time out from the stressors of daily life...go enjoy the moment or just simply relax and have fun...NOT something you feel like you have to do)

Dietician consultation

I've been falling behind in my blogging...ummm...not posting as much as I want to.  I feel like my life has been consumed (no pun intended) with my eating disorder.  Working on this issue in therapy has made me quite tired.  But, anyway...update on my first appointment with my dietician...

I was for the days after I made my appointment extremely nervous and scared. Part of this is due to the fact that I have never let anyone in on how badly my thoughts, emotions and behavior are affected by it. I guess, I've been for the first time allowing myself to really look at and realize how much of a problem it has been for close to thirty years.

Although I received an email from my mother the day Mary (dietician) and I were to meet, I was able to refocus with much effort.  The email really pissed me off.  My husband also met with us...quite unnerving as he didn't know how bad my eating disorder has been for me.

It was extremely helpful that I already knew Mary, her style and that she was quite good.  I felt really happy to see her again and in the things that she said, I am really glad that I quit my job. She was quite sensitive and attuned to my feelings and what my abilities are at this time.  She also kept asking, "what road do you want to take."  I kept bring up that not eating has been the way that I know I can lose weight. I realized that this is the only way that I have.

In talking about how much I eat, Mary noticed how focused I was on amounts and serving sizes.  So, she didn't talk about it, let me talk about it and gave my handout with that information to my husband.  In reality, I was eating one to two meals per day.  Not too bad. 

At certain points, I felt like a deer caught in headlights especially when she asked if I could eat "this amount," and when she gave me the handout on how much I should be eating. We discussed my weight and how it effects my energy and what I am able to do.

Bottom line is that my first goal is to "work on 9 small meals per day which check marks on a calendar."  Yesterday, with much effort I had four...much tougher that I thought it would be.  The second goal is to "cook, at least, once a week with my husband purchasing the food."  I realized that I don't even want to touch the food let alone, cook and eat. 

Cooking will be in steps due to my stamina and Mary not wanting me to skip dinner due to sleeping because I am tired from cooking. So, I am starting with fish packets. My husband will purchase the ingredients, one day I will cut up the veggies or my husband will purchase pre-cut ones. The next day, I will assemble and cook them using store purchased sauce.

I am quite scared about this whole process.  Mary just wants me to focus on getting used to eating a healthy amount and cooking versus picking up food. I have the knowledge, but my emotions tell me differently.  I know that by eating more that I will lose weight; however, I also don't trust that this will happen.  I am learning that I don't want to let go of something that has been my "friend" and way to control my emotions for so long.  But, I'm willing to give it a go.  I am so scared.

My Life ~ My Abuse ~ My Hope

Trigger Warning!!  Trigger Warning!!  Trigger Warning!!

This month is child abuse prevention month.  As a part of it, I wanted to share some of my life.  I have music to go with it since it is so long.  The music also goes with it very well; however, Picasa is not making movies well right now.  Hope you aren't too bored, but this is quite personal and something that I need to do.

I sort of figure a way to play the music which will be out of sync because it is not a movie, but you will get the idea.  You will need to press play for the slideshow and the music.

"Hold Fast" ~ Mercy Me ~ Worship in Song

Are You An Inventor?

Wallace is an inventor as you may already know. What would you invent to make life easier or to obtain something that you really wanted? Like obtaining cheeese!! Do tell!