White Rakhi Flower & Easter?

The following post was featured on the blog Positive Letters...Inspriration Stories by Hilary Melton-Butcher.  She so kindly let me post this.  Take a look at her inspriational blog. 

In their religious zeal, the Spaniards saw in this flower a God-given symbol of Christ’s Passion, and hailed it as an assurance of the ultimate triumph of the Cross. Each flower part bears a fancied resemblance to the instruments of the Passion:

The leaf symbolizes the spear;
The five petals and five sepals, the ten apostles (Peter who denied, and Judas who betrayed, being omitted;
The five anthers, the five wounds
The tendrils, the scourges
The column of the ovary, the pillar of the cross
The stamens, the hammers
The three stigmas, the three nails
The filament within the flower, the crown of thorns
The calyx, the glory
The white tint of the flower, purity
The blue tint, heaven
It keeps open for three days, symbolizing the three years’ of ministry


The passion flower climbed the Cross and covered its arms with flowers. [Above: Pink-white rakhi flower at Kadalakurushi near Palakkad (Kerala, India)]

Autism?

Last night, California time at least 200 significant points of interest and national monuments all around the world were lit up to glow blue.  Why?  To signify World Autism Awareness Day!! This is a basic article to educate people as to what is Autism; therefore, I will not be writing about the controversial interest regarding causes, diet and treatment very much.  (For those, who want more Google will give you some great references.  So, what is Autism?

Autism is a neurologically based developmental disorder which impacts their social, communication and social skills in which symptoms begin to occur before age three. Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) are for those that meet different criteria than the typical Autism diagnosis.  One is Asperger syndrome which has the characteristics of Autism, but lack the delays in cognitive development and language, and PDD-NOS, diagnosed when full criteria for the other two disorders are not met.

Most people with ASD have a wide range of abilities which range from mild to severe. It can coexist with other conditions, most common is mental retardation. Many famous and extremely intelligent people in history had some sort of Asperger Syndrome and have made a significant impact on science and arts.  Other misconceptions is that they are like "Rainman" and other movies and television shows that have someone who is autistic in them. 

It is estimated that Austism and ASD occur in 1 in 110 births annually.  The increase by medical professionals is attributed to increased awareness and identification by parents and physicians. The expansion of the definition to include milder symptoms. It is more common in boys that in girls. It occurs throughout the world, in families of all racial, ethnic and social backgrounds.

It is believed to have a genetic componenet as in twin and non-identical studies have been complete with interesting results. Identical twins occurred in 65% of the participants and non-identical twins occurred in 0% of those who participated. Often, there is a family history of Autism. Researchers have discovered a link of autism occuring within the structure of chromosomes 15 and 7.  Further research is very important. Physicans can identify autism by there symptoms only.  A provisional diagnosis can be made as early as 18 months and a follow up at 5 years to confirm the diagnosis.

As stated, above one of the areas effected is in social interaction.  Individual with autism often lack eye contact, interest in other children, or other people in their lives.  This is especially difficult on their mothers and unfortunately were incorrectly for many years thought to occur because of cold and distant mothers. Often, those with autism use non-verbal communication and lack social and emotional reciprocity and empathy. These symptoms do not occur in all individuals.

Another area of impairment includes communication.  Their play is not as varied and they seem not to understand the idea of play.  There are delays in speaking, conversing, repitive language, and make-believe play or social initiative.

Lastly, are difficulties in restricted interests and sterotyped behavior. Often those with autism have abnormal preoccupations, insistance on routines or rituals, repetitive motor skills mannerisms.

In Asperger's Disorder the is impairment of social interaction, restricted interests, sterotyped behaviors, causes impairment in daily life, generally there is no language delay and not cognitive delays.

In Pervasive Developmental Disorder-NOS (PPD), there is sever impairment in social interaction and communications.  There interests are also restricted and they do not meet the criteria for Autism or Asperger's.

Early identification, good education and the support of family and friends, most children with autism can improve. They require intesive teaching, speech and language therapy, occupational therapy for some and programs of preschool.  The earlier intervention begins the more effective it can be which should include systematic and organized teaching, specialized curriculum intensive interation  (20-25 hours per week between the ages of 3-5 years) and family involvement.

For adolescents and adults, they often require transitional programs from the education system.  Some an live alone and maintain employment with some guidance and others will always require someone to live with them. 

One of my clients, although he seemed to have the skills to live alone, in actuality he required much assistance at home.  I was "travel training" him to utilize public transportation to and from work and home.  This was my first time on a bus and he knew directions instantly. I came back and my supervisor asked, "So, who did the training?"  I have to admit he did.  At his job, cleaning tables he would often become fixated on one section of a table and require prompting to do something different.  His workers were very understanding.

The public, law enforcement, education system and the media need to have a better understanding of autism and ASD. "Typically" they seem them as only flapping their hands and being non-responsive to others or at the other end like "Rainman"  As stated before abilities vary.  I also had a client who had to have his specific routine at day progam and home before he left and when he arrived.  Often, he would throw an screaming and crying "tantrum"

Most people look at the parents as "why don't you do something more" when in fact the child or adult is simply distressed by the change in routine.  Others actually say, "can't you manage your own child?"  Other reasons for a "tantrum" may be too much stimulation as sound and touch are very difficult for them to handle.  They seem to have a hypersensitive neurological system.

Persons with autism see and perceive the world as different than we do, so their behavior is different which accounts for "unacceptable" public behavior. Their perception is different, so they don't understand why we seem to not understand what they see.  In the picture on the left, most will see the right center dot as being larger.  Someone with autism are not "fooled" by such perception illusion picture and will immediately say that they are the same size.  They are able to "see" through the illusions quite quickly and accurately.

Besides the color blue, a rainbow of colored puzzle pieces are most often the symbol of autism awareness.  This is because it is looked at as puzzle pieces that need to be indentified and put together.

April Fool's Day...On Me

Well, I really didn't mean for the Entrecard Caption Contest to be an April Fool's joke, but the joke is on me.  This week has been really emotional and busy and I forgot to even select a winner and write a post. Therefore, the winner will (I promise) be announced on April 5th. I'm still accepting captions until Friday. (See yesterday's post).  Have a great day and be careful...you don't know who might pull a prank.

Panicking!!! (Two Posts For Today)

I am in a panic as I made an appointed with a dietician for Monday evening!!  I had contacted her on Monday and she called back yesterday afternoon.  When I was working as a social worker she was my favorite dietician that I referred my clients. She is very nice and realistic. I told her a bit about why I need services...tough to do. 

So, not only do I already know the dietician, she is good and will come to my home.  She also said that she will not charge me as it is her way of giving back to the community.  (I do wonder if she is just saying that.)

It may seem like this has been a rushed decision, but believe me that I don't write something or gather information just for the fun of it. I do this after thinking about my things for a long time and then out of the blue it seems like I come up with what I'm going to do and follow through. In other words, I don't talk about something until I am ready to act upon it.

Reminder: Tell me your caption for this picture

(Tell me how you would like to caption this picture)

Just a reminder that, I've decided that I am going to "drop" out of Entrecard. It takes far too much of my time and I would rather read blogs and take a look at ones that I have been wanting to read. It was a tough decision as I have found some really great blogs. But, there are other ways that are more meaningful and worth my time. 

As of today, I have over 1000 credits that I will give to the best caption for the picture below. Even if you don't have Entrecard, I'd like to hear what caption that you have. I will feature the winner in this catagory in a blog. Have fun!! Contest ends on March 31th. I will reveal the winner on April 1st...no, fooling.

I will continue to drop, but decided to continue to accept advertisements in order to increase my EC credits. I've decided that the top five Entrecard card droppers and the winner of the caption contest will have a post dedicated just to them and the rest will be in a post together. I'll announce the winners tomorrow.I will be featuring the following blogs which are in no particular order:

As The Crackerhead Crumbles
Epicurean Health
Rambling Stuff
Get Anxiety Help
Nature's Fury and Beauty in Pictures
First Door on the Left
Health Assistant
My Strength My Song
Mature Not Senile
Sound of a Soft Breath

Taking Initiative

I really don't want to write this post, but I feel like I need to do so. My therapist was proud of me and I was proud of myself.  Why?  Because I wrote yesterday's post and because I called regarding obtaining information regarding a nutritionist. I called my insurance company to find out what was covered and for general information.  I also called and left a message for a nutritionist that I used to work with when I was a social worker.

In therapy, we talked more about my eating disorder. I've never been able to talk about it at this level...open and honest.  Even six months ago, I would have shut down and become defensive.  He told me that it was not different than my suicidal thoughts and self-injury.  Meaning they were problems that needed to be address just as my eating disorder needs to be address. I also told him that I needed help that the pressure with trying to lose weight kicks up my eating disorder behavior. He told me that it would be very difficult to be in my situation without some help.

I just feel so much pressure. I told him that even though, I'm researching it that doesn't mean that I will follow through.  But, we both know me and indicated that this is exactly what I do everytime that I get ready to act upon it. *sigh* I don't like to admit that I really need help with this.  The other point is that it makes me sad and angry that I've struggled with this for so long keeping me from doing other things. I'm also really realizing how consuming this has been for so long. It is also painful and I'm scared which are some of the most difficult emotions for me to handle. 

I also told him that I feel really guilty that I am supposed to be losing weight, but my husband and I have been having a small scoop of ice cream every night.  He told me that it wasn't really an impact on my weight and that it doesn't take into account the benefit of time with my husband and sharing just the two of us. Also, it isn't like I'm eating a whole carton of Haagen Daaz Fives, but if we were spliting the carton that would be a whole different thing.  I laughed and agreed...my therapist and I shared a love for this ice cream.

Ironically, I have an appointment with my psychiatrist today and will talk to him about it and finding a nutritionist or dietician...I guess, I am really serious about getting better!

More Truth Sinking In!!

Well, I want to share my current process with my eating disorder...at least, I think I do...my tummy is full of butterflies now.  For those who missed a sort of introductory into this, scroll down to the bottom of the page (I know it is long) and look for three consequtive posts beginning March 9th.

This has been an very tough month regarding my anorexia (there I said it).  I'm still finding clothing here and there and putting my smalls into Space Bags (they work great) and donating my smaller clothing. A couple of things that are real clear. One, that I love clothing and two, how quickly I gained my weight due to my health last year. I have a very, very, very, very limited amount of medium sized clothing.  Also, I went from an A cup to a C cup and completely missed purchasing a B cup!!! I end up in a DD cup and extra-large to large.  Sheesh!! I feel like I am mourning and losing something very important to me. Something that I was hanging on for my life.

In donating my (probably 400 pieces) extra extra-smalls, smalls, size zero, and size 24/25, I've become more focused and have realized that it consumes my thoughts throughout the day and has for over 25 years.  It is quite sobering.  It literally had taken over my life and nearly killed me. I'm beginning to understand how pervasive, unrelenting this has been.  I am trying to hang onto it and trying to keep it at the same time...ambivalence. Ambivalence is a part of everything with me including live or die...being ambivalent about me.

To eat, not to eat, what to eat are constant choices throughout the day. I feel so much pressure to do the "right" thing. But, often, I chose not to eat because I'm not hungry, do not want to or because I ate "such and such" earlier in the day or yesterday. But, even when I eat, I'm thinking about what I may have to eat later.  And, on it goes.  It is with me throughout the day...constant.

I'm feeling angry and really sad.  And, sometimes, I just want to throw a tantrum telling everyone that I am not going to eat and will fit back into my extra-smalls.  I feel a bit panicked.  What happens if I don't watch what I eat and how much I weigh?  How do I lose my weight gain and not use my usual route of not eating?  How does one do that?  I'm scared...what if I don't lose the weight and I will be fat the rest of my life.  How much do I want to spend and waste my life on this? How much does this cause me from accomplishing my goals? When does the pain stop?

Where did the pain come from?  Do I want to feel?  Do I really want to delve into the reasons why I began my eating disorder anyway? Do I want to feel my self-hatred which is at the base of all of my dysfunctional behavior? When does the pain stop? When will I allow myself to love instead of hate me?

"Awesome God" with backing vocals and piano by Michael W. Smith ~ Worship in Song

"The Gov't Can"