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A key word that you will see:

Fragmentation: a mental process where a person becomes intensely emotionally focused on one aspect of themselves, such as “I am angry” or “no one loves me,” to the point where all thoughts, feelings and behavior demonstrate this emotional state, in which, the person does not or is unable to take into account the reality of their environment, others or themselves and their resources. This is a term that my therapist and I use and is on the continuum of dissociation.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Where Did I Go or Where Am I?

Hi Everyone,

I still am adjusting to being home, but it has been a bit complicated. Last Monday, I came down with some sort of viral flu-like thing (including fainting), this weekend have a rash all over my body (really itch...aaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!) and my body decided to have side effects from my medication changes in the hospital.

So, yesterday, I'm on my way to my therapist's office and start to feel dizzy and faint. Made it to his office and had session while lying on the couch. Made it home. Called hubby to take me to afternoon doctor appointment which I was able to schedule. MY Whole body aches, itches and I can barely move my neck and shoulders without screaming and energy comes in small spurts. (This is one.)

You know that side effect of increased appetite...well, I now know what that feel like. Saturday morning it was like someone hit a switch saying, "I so ravenous that I want to eat everything." When I want to snack, it is like I want a whole meal. Psychiatrist working on it. (Hubby took me today.)In the meantime...where was that burrito!

My doctor told him to use heat and massage the area that is stiff!! :-) Good Doctor. Apparently, I am having muscle spasms on my back and neither my physician or psychiatrist is sure if my muscles spasms and rash are due to side effects or my brand new viral infection...don't worry, I'm not contagious.

The only reason that you receive postings last week is because they were prescheduled before the hospital.

Well pray, wish me luck, send good thoughts, etc....and oh, please do laugh at me...this is so ridiculous!!! :-)


Laura said...

Hope you're feeling better soon CC ... itchiness is enough to drive a person nuts .. the massage sounds good though lol

Chunks of Reality said...

I hope you feel much better VERY soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Hey CC,

Something I've experienced quite a lot is psycho-somatic symptoms. Especially muscle pain, and then in therapy I've experienced a lot of choking and coughing when I need to say something but can't quite get it out.

So I feel for you with all these physical responses you're having. Have any of your carer's considered you might be feeling stress from being out of the nice, controlled hospital environment?

Of course, it could be all sorts of things and I'm definitely no doctor. So feel free to completely ignore me! ;)

Hope you feel better soon, in any event.

Anonymous said...

Just what you needed 'eh! Goodness gracious me. *extremely gentle hugs*

You'll be in my thoughts, hun. I so hope your body lets up on you shortly, CC.

Marj aka Thriver said...

Darn side effects! I'm sorry you're dealing with so much. I am sending those healing vibes. Safe hugs ((((((((((((CC))))))))))))

Dr. Deb said...

Fainting. How scary.
Hope you are felling better every day.

jumpinginpuddles said...

oooowww we are sorry

Jane Doe said...

Sending lots of good thoughts and healing vibes your way. I hope you feel better soon.

Ana said...

Hope you are fine!
Sending good vibrations!

Clueless said...

Thank you for all your prayers and I thoughts. It ended up being more serious than side effects although that complicated matters.

Last Wednesday/Thursday, i was admitted for bilateral pneumonia. I was really sick and just discharged yesterday (Wednesday). I continue on oral steroids and antibiotics.

I am extremely tired and quite weak which is to be expected, but I'm good enough to be home. This whole experience has been quite terrifying for me.

I'm doing what I did in the hospital only in the comfort of my own home without the wake up calls for meals, breathing treatments, vitals, blood draws, xrays, CT scans, cleaning the room, etc... Oh, and not hooked up to O2 or IV's...mobility!!!

My husband is staying home this week to help me...I hate to admit it, but I do need his assistance.

I miss real life. :-) Thank you again for so much for all your support. I'll update you more when I have the energy. Right now, it is nap time...again!!


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