Welcome!!! Please, if you are new here, READ THIS FIRST!!! Thank You!!!

Thank you for visiting. Content MAY BE TRIGGERING ESPECIALLY FOR THOSE WHO HAVE EXPERIENCED ABUSE, STRUGGLE WITH SELF-INJURY, SUICIDE, DEPRESSION OR AN EATING DISORDER. Contains graphic descriptions of suicidal thoughts, self-injury and emotional, physical and sexual abuse. Do not read further if you are not in a safe place. If you are triggered, please reach out to your support system, a mental health professional or call 911.

All images and content are Copyright © to ClinicallyClueless. All rights to the images and all content on this site and on all ClinicallyClueless materials belong exclusively to the artist/author. No use of any content, commercial or non-commercial is permitted without written consent from the author and artist.

Disclaimer: Although I have worked with persons with mental illness for twenty years, I do not have a Master's Degree or a license. This is not meant to be a substitute for mental health care or treatment. Please obtain professional assistance from the resources listed on the right of the page, if needed. And call 911 if you or someone is in immediate danger.

A key word that you will see:

Fragmentation: a mental process where a person becomes intensely emotionally focused on one aspect of themselves, such as “I am angry” or “no one loves me,” to the point where all thoughts, feelings and behavior demonstrate this emotional state, in which, the person does not or is unable to take into account the reality of their environment, others or themselves and their resources. This is a term that my therapist and I use and is on the continuum of dissociation.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

I'm getting better, but I am exhausted!!

Saturday night, I had a flashback or was it a dance :-) about being in high school and college again.  There was lots of neon, an eclectic assortment of clothing and hair styles, legwarmers, fishnet, ripped sweatshirts, mohawks, I saw Goonies, Gremlins, Miami Vice, "Choose Life" and there was day-glo everywhere.  I heard new arrangements and singing of songs like, Thriller, Shout, I Want to Know What Love Is, Hungry Like the Wolf, Sweet Dreams, People are People, Girls Just Want to Have Fun, Holding Out for a Hero, Express Yourself, It's Raining Men, I'm So Excited, Out Here on My Own, Live to Tell and many more!!  Was I dreaming, was my body really that young again and could dance without paying a price...

No, I was watching a Totally 80s presentation by the Gay Men's Chorus of Los Angeles (GMCLA) at the Avalon theatre in Hollywood.  I know that I was supposed to be taking it easy, but we had purchased these tickets when they first went on sale and had front row center seats which meant that I was leaning on the catwalk and the dancers were a few feet away as there was no orchestra pit.  We were so close to the stage that I could see sweat, their tight clothing and assets and hear them sing without the microphone.  I could also really see facial hair, stubble and the type of hair no one mentions above the neck.  (Too much information...I'm sorry!)

I'm glad that my husband isn't the jealous type because I had lots of eye candy!!!  Oh, excuse me I need to stop drooling, but their bodies were fabulous. Oh, did I mention that the dancers were really hot!!  The music was fantastic and Act 1 brought back lots of memories.  Act 2 was equally as fabulous, but took on a much more serious tone.  For me this was expected, as the 80's especially the early 80's, was a terrible time to be homosexual as AIDS exploded and all the misunderstanding and controversy around it including that the government was hardly addressing the disease's impact which was certain death.

Act 2 consisted of Thriller, Out Here on My Own, Live to Tell, We Belong, and I Wanna Dance with Somebody.  Each song being toned down some or significantly toned down, which emphasized the lyrics.  (Go read the lyrics)  Imagine this with thinking about AIDS in the 80's. Thriller took on a more chilling feel when various chorus members left the stage which represented one more death from AIDS.  I'll admit. I was quite tearful during Act 2.  It was quite poignant.

Either way, I was either trying to dance in my seat aggravating my respiratory system and my ankle, singing or mouthing the words aggravating my respiratory system also, or the heat in the theatre was making it more difficult to breathe.  We got home at around 8:30pm and I slept until 10:45pm just to take my medications quite late.  I've slept most of today (Sunday) and my ankle hurts...rest this week and today.

It was all really worth it.  I'd love to have seen the show today again, if we could have.  I love the talent of GMCLA and what they are about.  They help bring the world a little more into harmony....(I know a groaner).

Please visit their website to find out more about them, concert dates, their background and see videos of other performances.  Click on any link in this post or click here.  Below are parts of text taken from GMCLA website:

On a July night in 1979, a small group of men opened the doors to a room at the Plummer Park Community Center in Los Angeles (now West Hollywood) and waited and wondered if anybody would show up. They had posted flyers around the neighborhood announcing the formation of a new gay chorus and this night was to be its first rehearsal. To their great surprise, 99 men appeared and a chorus was born. Within three months of that rehearsal, founding director Harold Kjellberg led the group through its first major event: the March on Washington, D.C. and the first national lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) concert at the Washington Memorial.

While public understanding of gay life has evolved much since 1979, there is still fierce resistance to lasting change by opponents to LGBT equality. And the road to today has not always been easy. Through the height of the AIDS crisis, the Chorus lost over 150 members. Only 12 original members remain. As a result, GMCLA has a deep history of service within the LGBT community, singing at countless memorials, making and commissioning music that helps the community to mourn, to celebrate, to dream, and to prepare for victory.

For 30 years, the Chorus has built an international reputation for musical excellence while remaining deeply rooted in service to the Los Angeles community. Hailed by the Los Angeles Times as “one of the last important links to a glorious tradition in music,” GMCLA has more than doubled in size to 226 singers, added professional and artistic staff, toured nationally and internationally, released thirteen compact discs, commissioned more than 300 new works and arrangements and appeared frequently on national television.

The Chorus has appeared on several television broadcasts including Will & Grace, The Ren and Stimpy Show, Mad TV, and six episodes of Six Feet Under.

Music to Overcome Prejudice
GMCLA became the first gay mens U.S. chorus to tour central Europe in 1991. That historic tour was featured in a documentary entitled "Out Loud" and was broadcast on the PBS television network.

GMCLA became the first gay men's chorus ever to perform for a sitting President of the United States, Bill Clinton.

GMCLA became the first openly gay performers ever to be broadcast nationally over Russian television during their 1999 concert tour (sold out concert in Tchaikovsky Hall, Moscow).

GMCLA was the first openly gay chorus to tour South America (Argentina, Brazil, Uruguay, and Chile) in 2006, performing at some of the continent's most revered theatres and concert venues. Repertoire included North American and European classical and popular music from Bacharach to Verdi, as well as new works commissioned for the tour by Daniel Catan, Rosephanye Powell, and Daniel Alfonso. New music for the Tour was funded by the National Endowment for the Arts, the James Irvine Foundation, and Los Angeles County Arts Commission. In each of the four countries, the Chorus raised money for LGBT and HIV organizations, as well as helping to start the first gay chorus in South America, to be based in Rio de Janeiro.

The Chorus membership donates over 60,000 volunteer hours annually to make GMCLA’s mission of musical excellence and community partnership a reality.

GMCLA's mission statement is "to create musical experiences that strengthen our role as a leader among lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender (LGBT) and performing arts organizations,enrich our member-artists, support LGBT youth, challenge homophobia, and expose new communities to our message of equality."

The following are some of the lyrics for Thriller:

It's close to midnight and something evil's lurking in the dark
Under the moonlight, you see a sight that almost stops your heart
You try to scream but terror takes the sound before you make it
You start to freeze as horror looks you right between the eyes
You're paralyzed

'Cause this is thriller, thriller night
And no one's gonna save you from the beast about strike
You know it's thriller, thriller night
You're fighting for your life inside a killer, thriller tonight

You hear the door slam and realize there's nowhere left to run
You feel the cold hand and wonder if you'll ever see the sun
You close your eyes and hope that this is just imagination, girl!
But all the while you hear the creature creeping up behind
You're out of time

'Cause this is thriller, thriller night
There ain't no second chance against the thing with forty eyes, girl
Thriller, thriller night
You're fighting for your life inside a killer, thriller tonight

Night creatures calling, the dead start to walk in their masquerade
There's no escaping the jaws of the alien this time
(They're open wide)
This is the end of your life


Wanda's Wings said...

Wonderful and informative post. Thanks so much for your support of the GLBT community. I have encouraged my daughter to visit your site, because she can not believe "Christians" can be for gay rights. Again I thank you for your openness and kindness to all people.

Borderline Lil said...

What a great post, I felt like I was at the concert with you! Awesome. They sound like an inspiring group.

Clueless said...

Wanda, there are lots of us out there, but we don't get the media attention. Maybe, give her this link to start. http://clinicallyclueless.blogspot.com/2009/10/homosexuality-from-its-sin-to-christian_13.html


Clueless said...

and this one, http://clinicallyclueless.blogspot.com/2009/10/homosexuality-from-its-sin-to-christian_13.html

Clueless said...

Thank you Borderline Lil. They were awesome and always inspiring.

Mike Golch said...

hang in there Kiddo,Big Time hugs.

Unknown said...

I am a proud member of the GMCLA and we so appreciate your kind words about our show this weekend. It's people like you who make the difference! Thanks!!

Clueless said...

Mike, thanks for the hugs. But, all the consequences are so worth it that I would do it again!!


Thank you!! It is people like you who can entertain and educate is such a fabulous way!!

Search This Blog