I decided to begin retelling what I wrote to my therapist and I in the Winter/Spring of 2007 after four years of intense flashbacks and repressed memories emerging. [Current commentary is in brackets.] I wrote my seventy page "biography" because I needed to write out what I remembered and what I experienced to make it more "real" rather than a "story." I am ready to take the next step and putting more of it in my blog. This was the original reason for starting my blog and using my journal as a starting point. I am still struggling with believing that the following is the truth of my life:
In 1971ish when I was around five or six years old, my mother met the man who would become my step-father. He was not working at the time, and they began living together. When I was in first grade, they married when I was in fourth. Because he was not working, he stayed with me, as my mother was working.
I hate frogs and also for some reason I was always terrified of snails. My mother and step-father would begin to taunt me about the same things and come up with new taunts and teases. I felt humiliated and sorry for talking at all and afraid to share anything even exciting or fun things especially hurtful things. They began giving me frog and snail stuff and my step-father would chase me around with a snail or twig pretending to put it in my shirt or would line them up in the walkway or place them on my bedroom window. My mother would become angry at me and or tease me.