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Disclaimer: Although I have worked with persons with mental illness for twenty years, I do not have a Master's Degree or a license. This is not meant to be a substitute for mental health care or treatment. Please obtain professional assistance from the resources listed on the right of the page, if needed. And call 911 if you or someone is in immediate danger.

A key word that you will see:

Fragmentation: a mental process where a person becomes intensely emotionally focused on one aspect of themselves, such as “I am angry” or “no one loves me,” to the point where all thoughts, feelings and behavior demonstrate this emotional state, in which, the person does not or is unable to take into account the reality of their environment, others or themselves and their resources. This is a term that my therapist and I use and is on the continuum of dissociation.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Feeling worse!!

I am still feeling like I did yesterday (see yesterday's post), but I'm a lot more anxious as I have my therapy appointment today. Oh, to clarify what I wrote yesterday.  I am supposed to be losing weight as last year due to medical problems I gained 60 pounds. That is a lot for anyone let alone anyone with an eating disorder. So, this year I began to really freak out and my anorexic behaviours, thoughts and feeling began to take over.  I'm working with a dietician.  It was crazy trying to lose weight with anorexia.

Yesterday, I also sent an ecard to my aunt which was never opened.  Please see post Anger and Pain: Family distance!! ~ BPD in Action!! This just added to my anger, hurt and disappointment especially anger toward myself as I had hopes that things would be different, but Judy does screen everything that Arleen receives.

Discouraged

5 comments:

arifaery said...

I hope you feel better.

Clueless said...

Thank you arifaery! Also, thank you for leaving a comment.

bpdisme said...

Feel better soon. *hugs*

NOS said...

Good luck in therapy today! I'll be thinking of you.

Just Be Real said...

Clueless, I am so very sorry. ((((Clueless))))

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