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Thank you for visiting. Content MAY BE TRIGGERING ESPECIALLY FOR THOSE WHO HAVE EXPERIENCED ABUSE, STRUGGLE WITH SELF-INJURY, SUICIDE, DEPRESSION OR AN EATING DISORDER. Contains graphic descriptions of suicidal thoughts, self-injury and emotional, physical and sexual abuse. Do not read further if you are not in a safe place. If you are triggered, please reach out to your support system, a mental health professional or call 911.
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Disclaimer: Although I have worked with persons with mental illness for twenty years, I do not have a Master's Degree or a license. This is not meant to be a substitute for mental health care or treatment. Please obtain professional assistance from the resources listed on the right of the page, if needed. And call 911 if you or someone is in immediate danger.
A key word that you will see:
Fragmentation: a mental process where a person becomes intensely emotionally focused on one aspect of themselves, such as “I am angry” or “no one loves me,” to the point where all thoughts, feelings and behavior demonstrate this emotional state, in which, the person does not or is unable to take into account the reality of their environment, others or themselves and their resources. This is a term that my therapist and I use and is on the continuum of dissociation.
I am still feeling like I did yesterday (see yesterday's post), but I'm a lot more anxious as I have my therapy appointment today. Oh, to clarify what I wrote yesterday. I am supposed to be losing weight as last year due to medical problems I gained 60 pounds. That is a lot for anyone let alone anyone with an eating disorder. So, this year I began to really freak out and my anorexic behaviours, thoughts and feeling began to take over. I'm working with a dietician. It was crazy trying to lose weight with anorexia.
Yesterday, I also sent an ecard to my aunt which was never opened. Please see post
Anger and Pain: Family distance!! ~ BPD in Action!! This just added to my anger, hurt and disappointment especially anger toward myself as I had hopes that things would be different, but Judy does screen everything that Arleen receives.
5 comments:
I hope you feel better.
Thank you arifaery! Also, thank you for leaving a comment.
Feel better soon. *hugs*
Good luck in therapy today! I'll be thinking of you.
Clueless, I am so very sorry. ((((Clueless))))
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