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A key word that you will see:

Fragmentation: a mental process where a person becomes intensely emotionally focused on one aspect of themselves, such as “I am angry” or “no one loves me,” to the point where all thoughts, feelings and behavior demonstrate this emotional state, in which, the person does not or is unable to take into account the reality of their environment, others or themselves and their resources. This is a term that my therapist and I use and is on the continuum of dissociation.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Over doing it...again!!!

I think that the increase in my Effexor XR is working. I didn't wake up with the first thought being I want to die...that came after coffee. That is a big change. I also felt a little better and had more energy, so I started a load of laundry which for the past couple of months has been overwhelming just to sort it. I got the first load completed and started a second load...I am now feeling overwhelmed and more depressed. Oh, and I wrote a post. I think, I over did it. I always seem to do this. I think, I can do more than what is realistic. My therapist says that it is my denial over thinking that I am sick...I hate it when he is right!!

Oh, and I completed my homework assignment from my therapist which is to do a Wordle having to do with the retalition fantasies that I had against my step-father when we were alone in the apartment together. Today, I just had to get the format right.

It is about 1:30 pm, so maybe I'll take a nap after this load is finished in the dryer because I still have a post to write. Yes, I need to do so. If I don't I'm going to wake up super early tomorrow, on my own, to do it. But, nothing else after that...I promise.

Also, I've been meaning to address something that is coming across in some of the comments and emails. Most of my posts are from PAST journal entries, right now being in July 2005. But, I do have commentary and observations included in them that I write from today's perspective. I also have entries about my current process. I know it gets confusing...I get confused too. PAST entries are in BLUE. CURRENT stuff is in PURPLE. I hope it helps to clarify things. And then, my current process is about my past, so it gets even more confused and the issues are the same so...sorry I couldn't resist. :-P When is this load going to be finished?

3 comments:

Mary said...

CC, I so glad that your feeling a little better today. I know I am doing laundry also.ugh, I hate laundry. thanks for setting us straight about your posts....have a great evening..hugsss Mary

Sweet Mummy said...

I was on Effexor for a while and it didn't like me. Switching off of it was miserable. I'm always glad to hear when it is working for someone. Good luck with the increased dosage. Sometimes it's all you need, just a 'little' more! Blessings!!

PS - you asked about my graphics on my blog... they are from here there and everywhere. Try photobucket, or do a web graphic search on Google. You'll get lots of hits based on whatever you are looking for. Thanks for stopping by my blog the other day. Great to 'meet' you!!

Clueless said...

Thank you Mary.

Sweet Mummy. Thank you, but I don't remember who you are or what your other site is. I do remember asking someone about their graphics. I hope you read this. You can either leave a comment or email me. Thanks.

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