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A key word that you will see:
Fragmentation: a mental process where a person becomes intensely emotionally focused on one aspect of themselves, such as “I am angry” or “no one loves me,” to the point where all thoughts, feelings and behavior demonstrate this emotional state, in which, the person does not or is unable to take into account the reality of their environment, others or themselves and their resources. This is a term that my therapist and I use and is on the continuum of dissociation.
A close friend of mine was one of the founding leaders of an ex-gay ministry group. He was involved in it for many years, but came to the conclusion that they were not really making people turn hetrosexual. He himself was not "healed." He indicated that they used mostly guilt, shame and Bible thumping. The caused already self-loathing Christians into the darkness of even more self-hate. The way the ministries are set up are somewhat cult like in that you have contact with only those within the ministry, heterosexuals, up late, group rallies, asking for forgiveness, fasting, etc. All of these things make the body and mind more vulnerable to what is being taught.
My friend is now an openly gay Christian man who remains faithful to God and ministers to others. The ex-gay ministries seem to make people "act" like heterosexuals when their real self is that of a homosexual...they lie to themselves and in the act always feel like they are not being who they really are. My friend also has indicated that it really doesn't work. He has met many who were involved and are now openly gay as he is.
The below video is an example of ex-gay ministries coming to the same conclusion.
Michael Busse (co-founder of Exodus), Darlene Bogle (a former Exodus ministries leader), and Jeremy Marks (former Exodus International and head of Courage UK) issue a public and formal apology for their work as ex-gay leaders and the harm they caused to those they tried to help.
They joined Beyond Ex-Gay and Soulforce at an Ex-Gay Survivors Conference at UC-Irvine later that week.
3 comments:
CC,
Good for your friend for finding the strength in himself to realize that God makes all of us, both straight and gay and that any higher power I want to know loves all its creatures--both straight and gay.
I knew one person who went through those 'homosexuality reversal groups' and it was a horrid, shameful experience for him. Like your friend, he finally came out, embraced his sexuality, and his now happy and free.
Wonderful post, CC!
Love,
Melinda
It makes me so sad to know that people would go through all that trouble just to try and change their sexuality.
Have you heard of the "It will get better" campaign? It's a bunch of celebrities sending messages to gay teens/young adults in the light of the recent string of suicides. Some of them are really touching. I suggest watching Tim Gunn's video: http://blogs.denverpost.com/ostrow/2010/10/06/tim-gunn-it-will-get-better/4097/
Wishing you well,
NOS
Melinda, It is good to hear from you. My friend seems so much happier in general and confident in himself. Those ministries are scary.
NOS, It also makes me feel sad. Thanks for the information. I'll go take a look.
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