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A key word that you will see:

Fragmentation: a mental process where a person becomes intensely emotionally focused on one aspect of themselves, such as “I am angry” or “no one loves me,” to the point where all thoughts, feelings and behavior demonstrate this emotional state, in which, the person does not or is unable to take into account the reality of their environment, others or themselves and their resources. This is a term that my therapist and I use and is on the continuum of dissociation.

Monday, September 20, 2010

A Return to Pooh Corner!!

Over the weekend, my husband and I saw Kenny Loggins in concert.  We were center eleven rows back...great seats.  He is one of my favorite artists and I love him in concert because he interacts a lot with the audience and shares stories.  The story in the below video is one that he told.

Emotionally, I began to panic when I was closed in and felt like I was completely surrounded by people and startled at sudden talking or noise.  I also was really irritated with the woman behind me who was with a bunch of other women.  She first put her handbag on the back of my chair and I accidently knocked it off.  Then, she put her feet on my chair and I accidently sat on them when I moved back in my chair. Then, she grabbed on to the side of my chair and I purposely leaned on it. The final straw, even though I didn't say anything was when she keep hitting my hair while clapping...sheesh.

However, I was surprised and frustrated by my breathing and stamina.  I wanted to sing and dance, but my body didn't cooperate.  I wonder if the other concerts being outdoors helped.  But, this time, I kept coughing and was exhaused and winded midway through the two hour concert.  I slept ALL day the next day.  I am again reminded that my pneumonia last year was serious and that I am still recovering and need to be gentle with myself...But, I want to sing and dance!!!

It is a victory that I wanted to do this and I got through the evening without an emotional melt down.

The concert seemed too short as there were many songs that he didn't sing that I wanted to hear, but I don't think he or I would have lasted much longer.  One difficulty was his in ear monitor which wasn't working properly, so his voice was off key at parts or he had difficulty singing.  I hope others knew that and didn't attribute it to his singing because he still sounds fantastic. (And is still very cute!! I almost touched his hand.  I was close enough when he came into the audience)  I had a great time.

4 comments:

NOS said...

I'm so glad you had a great time despite that rude woman behind you. It's great to hear that you're engaging in activities that make you feel good.

Wishing you well,
NOS

Ana said...

Pneumonia? I didn't know you had it.
Take care.
I wanted to ask you a favor. Could you write a review of Hella Heaven at Blogged?
I have two reviews and need another to go back to the position I was. It's funny we care about these tiny things but it's the only reward we have from blogging.
Take care!
Love,
Ana

Clueless said...

NOS, I wanted to clobber the woman though. It does feel good to be going out more. Thank you and take good care of yourself.

Clueless said...

Ana,

Last year was quite eventful. This is a link to the summary of last year. http://clinicallyclueless.blogspot.com/2010/01/what-i-discovered-and-gained-in-2009.html

Of course, I will write you a review.

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