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Fragmentation: a mental process where a person becomes intensely emotionally focused on one aspect of themselves, such as “I am angry” or “no one loves me,” to the point where all thoughts, feelings and behavior demonstrate this emotional state, in which, the person does not or is unable to take into account the reality of their environment, others or themselves and their resources. This is a term that my therapist and I use and is on the continuum of dissociation.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Time for Another Health Update!!

Taking time out from my family drama for a health update. I remain on breathing treatments four times per day, continue to become short of breath, and have lots of fatigue and respiratory difficulties. My skin conditions have all come back. Some it may be due to stress. It isn't like I haven't had any stress...hmm, letter and response to my mother, therapy, health stress, trying to locate the N1H1 and influenza vaccinations, and the beat goes on!!

I had an eye examination early due to the corticosteroids. Apparently, they changed my vision for the worse by 40% and they are like I aged 10 years. He indicated it is rare that changes go back to baseline. Sigh!! But, I had an annual exam on October 30th and they were much better. Praise God!!!

On October 21st, I began
infusion therapy via IV to "add" that antibody to my blood. First off, I was very nervous, but my husband took the day off to be with me...he is so sweet. They gave me a substitute for what my doctor ordered...kind of like a generic. I was supposed to receive Gamunex. Anyway, I got dizzy, lightheaded, a headache and a little nausea. The fluid going in was painful and cold, so the very nice nurse put a heating pad around my arm and slowed the rate of flow. Then, I began to get itchy, so after not hearing from my doctor after paging him, therapy was discontinued. This was really a pain because the process has been messed up and delayed several times.

I saw my doctor who said that what they gave me has sorbital in it which may be the reason for my symptoms and which is why he always requests the Gamunex the more expensive one. Since I only receive half of the medication, I was scheduled again in two weeks (11.03.09) which went without too many problems. I did find out that my body cannot take higher rates so the flow will be slowed which will mean it will take longer...probably more that four hours with me on 50mg of Benadryl just in case...no worries, my husband will be driving and there with me.

I bring a book, a couple of magazines, my journal, oh and we bring a lunch. It has been prescribed for me one time per month for a year. My husband will be with me every time. Oh, the second time, I brought my own blanket. Also, I am to stay away from people who are sick, children, crowds, etc...I need to extra cautious as if I catch anything, it will likely end me up in the hospital. So, my world consists of the Internet, therapy four times per week, psychiatrist every other week, Nordstrom when not busy and various other doctor appointments.

Professional Patient,
CC

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