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A key word that you will see:

Fragmentation: a mental process where a person becomes intensely emotionally focused on one aspect of themselves, such as “I am angry” or “no one loves me,” to the point where all thoughts, feelings and behavior demonstrate this emotional state, in which, the person does not or is unable to take into account the reality of their environment, others or themselves and their resources. This is a term that my therapist and I use and is on the continuum of dissociation.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

An Email to My Uncle

I was so angry with the way my uncle was treating me and what he had been doing that I emailed him the following:
Michael,

I can’t even begin to tell you how angry, hurt and betrayed that I feel because of what you have done. Also, sad because I do not trust you anymore. First of all, when we met at Wild Thyme you had promised not to say anything to Susan. Well, you broke that promise. Whether or not you directly gave her information about my letter, it is quite obvious that you said something to prompt her to write a letter and send it the same day I sent mine. She never sends or contacts me in such a manner. Your response for that was, "she is my sister and I have a right to talk to her." Yes, this is true, but to my knowledge you never call her to chit-chat. My relationship with Susan (my mother) is none of your business to talk to her about.

Stop trying to interfere or fix the things in my life. I’m sorry, if you need me to "hurry up" and get better. It seems that you have little understanding of my relationship with Susan. I do not feel that you have an understanding of me or respect for my feelings and how what you say or do effects me. You seem to do whatever you think is best without putting into context what has been conveyed to you in writing or verbally. I feel really disrespected and betrayed.

It seems that you did not understand my relationship with Susan from when we talked at Wild Thyme, the email that Adrian (husband) sent you, couple of conversations that we had together or even the letter or your conversation with Arleen (aunt). I’m sorry, but my life and relationships are not that simple. By the way, who made you God of my life anyway? Telling me that I should not have sent the letter to everyone, that it was too graphic…well, I’m sorry if you cannot handle the truth or believe me when I tell you that it can’t be worked out between my mother and I. You say that you believe me, but your actions tell me otherwise by calling Arleen and asking her about if she believed me and to discuss my relationship with my mother.

I am so angry with you that I don’t want to share anything personal with you again. You don’t even have common decency to apologize. Oh, but I forget you think you are the God of my life. You will never be able to imagine how much you hurt me and betrayed my trust. I am really sorry that you don’t seem to understand what Arleen and I have told you and that you felt the need to get involved to the point of making things much more painful for me. Stay out of my personal business which I will no longer be sharing with you.

Coleen

I'll write more about it tomorrow including his response. Thanks for listening to my soap opera!!

(Letter to Mother. This is only for my personal searchs as blogger does not search by tags, much to my dismay)

(Letter to mom. This is for search purposes only.)

1 comments:

Patricia Singleton said...

Many people respond to abuse the way that Michael did. They want to deny it and not believe the survivor. It is almost always because they have their own issues that they are not willing to look at. My uncle told me that he did believe me but that it was still difficult to see that his brother was capable of incest. He said that no one wants to think that of their brothers or sisters.

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