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Thank you for visiting. Content MAY BE TRIGGERING ESPECIALLY FOR THOSE WHO HAVE EXPERIENCED ABUSE, STRUGGLE WITH SELF-INJURY, SUICIDE, DEPRESSION OR AN EATING DISORDER. Contains graphic descriptions of suicidal thoughts, self-injury and emotional, physical and sexual abuse. Do not read further if you are not in a safe place. If you are triggered, please reach out to your support system, a mental health professional or call 911.

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Disclaimer: Although I have worked with persons with mental illness for twenty years, I do not have a Master's Degree or a license. This is not meant to be a substitute for mental health care or treatment. Please obtain professional assistance from the resources listed on the right of the page, if needed. And call 911 if you or someone is in immediate danger.

A key word that you will see:

Fragmentation: a mental process where a person becomes intensely emotionally focused on one aspect of themselves, such as “I am angry” or “no one loves me,” to the point where all thoughts, feelings and behavior demonstrate this emotional state, in which, the person does not or is unable to take into account the reality of their environment, others or themselves and their resources. This is a term that my therapist and I use and is on the continuum of dissociation.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Coming Out of Denial

I know that I've written about my eating disorder before, but I feel like I'm actually coming out of denial as how much of a problem/addiction that it is and the cost that I pay. The shirts above, some of which I purchased, emphisized the point.  I actually have ones that say "anorexia" on them.  When I shared them with my therapist he cheered and said, "coming out of denial."  I am determined not to let this consume my life anymore.  I want to move on and reach my goals.  This is a tough road to travel, even as I begin.  However, I am meeting my goal of eating at least 5-6 times per day even if some days it is a tablespoon of ice cream, peanut butter, Nutella, etc...I am proud of myself for meeting my goal.

4 comments:

Interruption said...

I can sense the pride you are feeling about your progress. I am happy for you. You can do this...you are not alone! Take care.

Clueless said...

Interruption,

Thank you for your words of encouragement. This has been tough. Take care, also.

Anonymous said...

Hello Clinically Clueless,
You have an interesting site, I'm glad I found it.

One thing I saw in your 'header' made me want to comment - it's come to be a big concern of mine. Just food for thought - you may or may not agree.

You mention suffering from mental 'illness'. I don't believe that is the correct term for most of us to be using. I believe the more accurate term would be mental 'injury'. I hope you'll hear me out:

If 50 five year-olds fall off the swing and break their arms, they all have an injury. If, say, three of them don't heal in the normal timeframe due to an underlying condition such as leukemia, or bone cancer, or gluten intolerance, that is an illness (AND and injury). If, on the other hand, all 50 of those children were intentionally pushed off the swing by parents who purposefully broke their arms, that is an injury to the child (not an illness). It may, or may not, represent an illness in the adult. It possibly represents an illness in the society which knowingly protected that adult and left that child vulnerable.

If, on the other hand, those children's injuries remain unattended, that may indeed produce an 'illness'. But that would be an iatrogenic (more or less) illness, not due to an organic deficit within the afflicted person. And it would still be an injustice.

In my opinion, to label survivors of abuse as having an 'illness' only serves to assist those who have a vested interest in that situation remaining unidentified and uncorrected.

Pastor Sharon said...

I LOVE the t-shirt that says: Start a Revolution. Stop hating your body.

Good for you. Keep up the great work.

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