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Thank you for visiting. Content MAY BE TRIGGERING ESPECIALLY FOR THOSE WHO HAVE EXPERIENCED ABUSE, STRUGGLE WITH SELF-INJURY, SUICIDE, DEPRESSION OR AN EATING DISORDER. Contains graphic descriptions of suicidal thoughts, self-injury and emotional, physical and sexual abuse. Do not read further if you are not in a safe place. If you are triggered, please reach out to your support system, a mental health professional or call 911.
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A key word that you will see:
Fragmentation: a mental process where a person becomes intensely emotionally focused on one aspect of themselves, such as “I am angry” or “no one loves me,” to the point where all thoughts, feelings and behavior demonstrate this emotional state, in which, the person does not or is unable to take into account the reality of their environment, others or themselves and their resources. This is a term that my therapist and I use and is on the continuum of dissociation.
Well, my husband and I had a surprise in the mail. It was a card with a Barnes and Noble gift card inside from Judy specifying that it was for my husband. We figure that she didn't mean to give him anything or forgot. Either way, it seems like she scrambled as the writing was messy and didn't include full names. It may have been triggered by my husband's email on Christmas Eve thanking her for the gift. Fun to imagine her running about on that day. Oh, the card was postmarked on Christmas Eve.
I also had my session with my therapist yesterday. It went well and I think that it is sinking in more how sick Arleen and Judy are especially Judy. Also, that it isn't about me, but about them and their illness and responsibility. It really makes me sad to think about how miserable Arleen has felt all her life. They both obviously have borderline personality disorders and I know how much that hurts. Reality is tough...she isn't who I imaged her to be.
Also, in regards to Judy. One of the characteristics of someone with a Borderline Personality disorder is that they try to tell people how they feel by "acting" it out, so that the other person feels the same way. In other words, Judy feels angry and hurt by me so she tries to make me feel the same.
To lighten up things a bit look below for a music post.
2 comments:
All in all it sounds not to bad. It hard when dealing with people with a mental illness. Hoping you have a great New Year.
"that it isn't about me"
How many times I've realized that... and how many more times I likely will before it really sinks in.
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