My 42 Day Adventure!!!

In a span of 42 days the following took place: Iran has an election that causes civil war; Ed McMahon and David Carradine both die; Gay Pride Weekend included 400,000 people in Los Angeles joining in on a “Moment of Silence;” Los Angeles Lakers become World Champions; US stamp prices increase, 4.7 earthquake in Los Angeles, Susan Boyle advance to the next round in “Britain’s Got Talent;” US Memorial day, my 12th anniversary; I sprained my ankle, choked on salmon and managed to get myself stuck in an awkward position behind by bed. (don’t ask)

This is what happened and what I managed to figure out on a large screen television with cable and from others in the hospital. Sounds great except for the 25 other people trying to watch the screen from two couches in which I had difficulty extracting myself from, as they were well worn with the ability to swallow people whole.

That was how long I was in the hospital. The food and the coffee were terrible and unhealthy. Luckily, I had an outside order for food including coffee which my hubby and therapist provided. I wrote three complaints that I actually saw immediate action upon and resulted in one person eventually being fired. I also saw a staff member, who I actually hated, be escorted off the premises three years after complaining about this person. I didn’t like a few staff people, but it was partly a personality conflict. Overall, the staff were great.

I was bestowed new names, “Fag Hag,” “A Gay Man,” and “Staff.” One person called me “Colace” because she “couldn’t” pronounce my name properly. I still wear them proudly. I met a lot of great people and hope to keep in touch with them.

My therapist gave me an assignment, “Bitch Day.” I was to be a bitch during one full day. I had lots of support and plenty of advice. I was actually a good assignment as I became more aware of my thought and feelings and actually said them For the most part, I was just more assertive with a few exceptions. One person with whom, I had problem with we walked down the hall exchanging choice word…ahh, I can use curse words. I stood up for myself with one therapist. I yelled at a staff person and kicked my door open. I also was in a heated “discussion” with my therapist …I actually yelled at him.

But, mostly it was hard work and, at times, extremely emotionally exhausting. I discovered how really bad off I was before hospitalization. I found a part of my anger and owed…nothing bad happened either. I feel better than I have had in several years. I feel more grounded. Am beginning to enjoy things that I once loved. I am glad that I decided to hospitalize myself and stayed as long as I did. I discovered that I can go 42 consecutive days without a computer. If anyone is counting, I have spent 76 days in the hospital since January and now have bronchitis…I just have to laugh and pray for a boring rest of the year.