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A key word that you will see:

Fragmentation: a mental process where a person becomes intensely emotionally focused on one aspect of themselves, such as “I am angry” or “no one loves me,” to the point where all thoughts, feelings and behavior demonstrate this emotional state, in which, the person does not or is unable to take into account the reality of their environment, others or themselves and their resources. This is a term that my therapist and I use and is on the continuum of dissociation.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

The "ists" in My Life!!

How am I doing? I'm having difficulty adjusting to being back home still and going to way to many doctors. I just wonder how many "ist"s there are. I see a therapist, psychatrist, dematologist, pulmonologist, dentist, optometrist, allergist and my primary care physician-ist!! I'm having difficulty with recovering from my bronchitis...with what I know now it may be 2012 before I am well...just kidding, but it is going to be at least a few months. My lungs are officially celebrities now with the amount of xrays that have been taken of them.

I was supposed to stop seeing my pulmonologist after the pneumonia, but got bronchitis. I am now having breathing treatments four times per day via nebulizer, have an inhaler, pain medication, have gone through a short pack for steriods & antibiotic...this is all from my pulmonologist. He is now considering if my allergies have anything to do with my slow recovery. So, off I go to my allergist which is good because I had one scheduled. I had to cancel two scheduled appointments because I've been "playing" this year. My allergist explains what is going on with my lungs and allergies. Decides to send me to take blood and schedule a new allergy scratch test panel and injection test. Test scheduled for mid August. Ouch! Sigh!!

I'm referred to a dermatologist by my PCP~ist for some nail and skin abnormalities. Dermatologist says, that most are due to the high temperatures from my pneumonia!! I thought that I was past that!! And, one spot is because of age and to expect more...AGE!!!! Creams and ointments are not working fast enough or doing anything visible, at all, so now I have to have two steriod injections this week...whose hand do I get to crush...any voluteers?

Now, I already saw my optometrist to check for catarats and glaucoma from the steriods for my pneumonia. Now, after my injections and broncitis medications, he wants to see me again!! I can't schedule my dentist appointment due for almost a year due to steriods or my health being too fragile!! Never thought that I would want to go to the dentist. Sheesh...on hold again.

It feels good to be back with my psychiatrist and the meds are good, but seeing him is a whole different story. I've been to tired to go on the days that I have scheduled, so I've only seen him once and two telephone sessions. I have been to most of my therapist's sessions or had telephone sessions at four times a week.

I know that there are a lot more special~ists, so I am grateful that it is only a handful. I am also thankful that all of my physicians are good. However, I think that I am a full time patient. And, then I have to have follow up appointments with my primary care physician...what does she want to know anyway...just kidding?

To top it off, I have laryngitis!!! (did you see how "ist" is very similar to "tis" as in bronchitis and laryngitis...it is a conspiracy...I'm not paranoid) Then, because my brain is still recovering, I forget to put the "ist" that I was sheduleded to see in my date book. I just wrote a time and then, couldn't remember who I was supposed to see. After calling three offices, I finally figured out who I was to see. I better check tomorrow's calendar to see which "ist" I'm scheduled for. :)

Okay now yesterday (Monday) I called my allergist because I was having more difficulty over the weekend with SOB, wheezing and just generally not feeling well. Well, they tried to do a pulmonary function test and said that I didn't have enough output for the computer to register it, so they couldn't go any further. However, I did get a steroid shot in both hips...ouch and an oral steriod...did I forget to tell you that corticosteriod (that is what I refer to as steriods) cause weight gain. I gained 50 pounds since January...sheesh!!! Anyway, I then went to get my blood drawn. My pulmonologist and allergist spoke with one another. You would think that there would be nothing else to do since I already had left over oral medication. Well, I then had to call my dermatologist to see if I should still have the injections scheduled for tomorrow.

Can I have a social worker to help me keep things straight, explain several times what I'm taking what for and what is going on and remember for me...I've even forgot a therapy appointment. I also now know, I don't have swiss cheese brain...my breathing is just too shallow to get enough blood to my brain.

Good, now I actually have a reason for my brain and being clumsy...now how do I expain the other times?
For more rambling thoughts click on this link, http://clinicallyclueless.blogspot.com/2009/07/lessons-and-perspective-from-patient.html to read more rambling thoughts and lessons learned during my hospitalizations.

(Professional Patient)


Anonymous said...

My goodness, Coleen! That's quite a lot to deal with all at once-- no wonder it's hard to keep your schedule straight! I'm glad to hear that things are going well with your psychiatrist and your meds. Now all you need to do is get the rest of your body well so you can truly enjoy some good health.

Wishing you the best,

PS- Thank you for your kind words of support on my blog. They mean the world to me.

Ana said...

That's a lot.
I hope you have patience, have faith and try the most you can to be optimist.
Thank you for sharing your "ists".
I'm sure it helps many people.
Love you dear, love you very much,

Wanda's Wings said...

Wow, I finally found someone with more doctors than I have. I'm sorry you have so many health issues. I do wish you well.

Amanda Conley said...

oh, Coleen - I'm sooo sorry that you have been so sick! I will keep you in my prayers!

Clueless said...


Thank you. Yes, rest...something I fight against. When I feel a little better, I over do it. Thans for the reminder.

You're welcome for the comment on your blog.


Thank you Ana. It is good to see you. Thank you for keeping me up to date as to what you are doing.

Thank you Wanda's Wings. I need to stop by your blog again. It has been a while. Sorry.


As usual, thank you so much for your support. I hope this helps you to understand my not keeping in touch or visiting your blog.


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