Who am I?

Mike's and Tamara's blogs both had this MEME and left it an open tag, so whoever wanted to do it could. I thought it was very interesting, so I am going to give it a go.


I am: a child of God, His daughter.

I think: too much. Need to verbalize and/or write more.

I know: that that I am not alone in my healing journey.

I have: a blessed life and a wonderful husband.

I wish: that depression and PTSD did not turn my life upside down.

I hate: injustice, lies, twisted truths especially when it comes to Jesus and some of the horrible things people can do to one another.

I miss: enjoying my life.

I fear: my feelings and trusting others.

I hear: too many negative thoughts in my head. Not voices, just my own thoughts

I smell: my coffee. How comforting and soothing.

I crave: chocolate and cookies right now. Want cookies!!! (I'm trying to reduce the simple refined sugars in my diet!!! Want cookies!!!)

I search: for God's presence everyday and find Him.

I wonder: why God allows so many horrendous things to happen. I know all the Biblical reasons, but bottom line I am not God and I will not know. It is probably better...our tiny brains are probably not equipped to handle such things.

I regret: nothing. Eveything I've said or done was something that I cannot take back, but I can try to make it better now. Remind me that when I'm being hard on myself.

I love: God, my husband, my family, my friends and some of the people I've met in blog world for they have touched my heart.

I ache: all over, as a feeling, but can't put words to it.

I am not: bad, evil or deserve to die. (Keep telling myself, keep telling myself, keep telling myself...brainwashing is hard to deprogram)

I believe: that people can change. If you look enough and they let their defenses down that everyone has value and worth and something to give.

I dance: (when not depressed) at concerts, during worship songs at church, while doing housework with music on.

I sing: (when not depressed) most of the time especially if there is music playing.

I cry: during happy and sad movies and for other people's pain. However, this is difficult for me to do for myself.

I fight: my inner battles of ambivalence inside myself.

I win: because I lived through my traumas and now have a great life.

I lose: my mind...if found, please send it to me ASAP. I'll pay for shipping and handling fees.

I never: n/a. Too polarized of a word.

I always: n/a. Too polarized of a word. No, change that to I always love my husband even when I don't like him, I still love him with everything that I have.

I confuse: others sometimes because I can be intensely serious to completely silly. People have difficulty putting the two together. Right, Bradley?

I listen: well to others. I am always working on listening to God and to myself. The latter being the most difficult.

I am scared: of trusting others and my feelings especially rage, terror and pain. Also, of my needs...I don't have any needs...lies!!! (oh, I'm having a conversation with myself. Hey, it is private. Don't listen in. Don't worry. I'm just fine!)

I need: to allow others into my life and to trust more.

I am happy about: that I have a great life now...I just wish I could hurry up and deal with the past and move on. In reality, I really do have a good life now with the exception of dealing with major depression and post-traumatic stress disorder.

I imagine: a world where God's love is the only thing we can see...one day when there is no more tears, pain, horror, terror and evil.

I would like to tag no one. I will follow Mike's and Tamara's leads and tag anyone who wants to give this a try and then leave me a message so I can see what you wrote.