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Thank you for visiting. Content MAY BE TRIGGERING ESPECIALLY FOR THOSE WHO HAVE EXPERIENCED ABUSE, STRUGGLE WITH SELF-INJURY, SUICIDE, DEPRESSION OR AN EATING DISORDER. Contains graphic descriptions of suicidal thoughts, self-injury and emotional, physical and sexual abuse. Do not read further if you are not in a safe place. If you are triggered, please reach out to your support system, a mental health professional or call 911.

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A key word that you will see:

Fragmentation: a mental process where a person becomes intensely emotionally focused on one aspect of themselves, such as “I am angry” or “no one loves me,” to the point where all thoughts, feelings and behavior demonstrate this emotional state, in which, the person does not or is unable to take into account the reality of their environment, others or themselves and their resources. This is a term that my therapist and I use and is on the continuum of dissociation.

Monday, January 3, 2011

No Resolutions!!

I really don't like resolutions or even goals a some people use them.  To me right now they imply met or not met, and as a person with a borderline personality disorder that mean either I'm good or bad or I've failed and I'm a failure.  (working on that one).  So, this year, I've come up with a list of things that I want to do.  This is a sampling.

  1. Study for the GRE.
  2. Obtain my letters of recommendation for school.
  3. Explore other school options.
  4. Volunteer at the Gay and Lesbian Center near my home.
  5. Continue to blog.
  6. Go out to eat on a regular basis with my husband again.
  7. Sleep (really like snore) in the same bed with my husband again.
  8. Go to church again.
  9. Lose weight and tone up.
  10. Continue to work in therapy.
  11. Continue to get better physically.
  12. Continue to try to be and express who I am and just be myself.
What are some of yours for this year?


Evan said...

Lose a little weight.

Figure out how to make money from my blog

Wanda's Wings said...

My main goal was to get healthier mentally and physically.

Anonymous said...

I can especially relate to #1 and #2...gotta get on that! *hugs*

RainbowTears said...

Lose weight.
Manage my flashbacks and nightmares more posivitely.
Continue to manage self-harm

Clueless said...

Evan, sounds like good goals. Money out of a blog seems like a tough one.

Wanda, *hugs* this is a great goal for you. I'm here praying for you in these areas.

bpdisme, I'm glad you relate!! *hugs*

RainbowTears, You have some tough goals. Remember to be realistic and kind to yourself. I'm rooting for you. I definitely have been there. It was really a difficult time for me with the flashbacks and memories and the self-harm. I'm here for you.

J said...

Best of luck to you CC! I know you can do all these things and more! loving the logic though, no point in resolutions just change what you have to!

Clueless said...


Thanks for the encouragement. Happy New Year to you. I like the perspective too. Resolutions usually end up being what I should do rather than what I want to do. Shoulds usually end up not being finished as motivation is based on guilt. The what I want to do is motivated by your desire.

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