Haiti: Hatred and Heartache

As I write this post, I am crying.  I was going to write a different post and was delaying addressing the Haiti Earthquake because my heart aches so much.  I am also filled with extreme grief and anger.  My heart aches for those in Haiti and those in the United States waiting to hear about loved ones.  Everyone including the aid workers are in my thoughts and prayers.

I wish that I didn't have to express my anger, but I found very disturbing comments and videos as I searched for one for this post. Again, I say that disasters and crisis bring out the best and worst in people. (I have decided not to show a video as most of us have seen or had opportunity to see the images and it is not necessary to do so now).

Some Christians are saying that God did this to punish them as they are seen as involved in voodo, witchcraft, Muslim activities, etc.  This is not the Christian God that I know by the scriptures and I know that he deeply grieves for them.  (Do they also not understand that Americans as well as many others from other countries died also!)

Others have said that this is a sign of the end times as illegal Haitians will eventually be sent back to where the came from as will other races as written in the Bible.  One person said that they hated all n****rs and do not feel sorry for them and won't help them.  I feel so sick having read these and more comments of such type.

Others have stated that God made it happens, so therefore He is not loving.  I don't think that anyone can ever adequately address this issue to human understanding as we are not God and our minds do not have His capacity or the larger picture.  Horrendous things happen all the time in this world.  I know about free will and natual disaster arguments, but bottom line is that I do not know why such things happen.  But, as a Christian I know God as loving, accepting, compassionate and that this disaster grieves Him.  Christ would have helped and demonstrated these characteristics...I wonder do I or do you?

The Bible says that "we will have trials and tribulations, but be of good courage..."  Other translations state "cheer" instead of "courage" which is incorrect if you go back to the Hebrew words used.  So, we are to have the courage to carry on and not put on a happy face or say, "I'm over it or God will take care of it."  Listen and allow people to express their emotions and grieve with them...that is one of the most loving things that you can do.

People have also said that President Obama is milking this for all he has to increase his ratings with the American public.  Any president would have done the same or this country as well as others would have criticized the U.S.  I am not implying that he provided aid quickly to "look good," but any descent person would have done the same.  It is also being said that this is good for President Obama as he will gain the support of both dark and light skinned blacks.

What an opportunity for people to really show their real colors, ignorance and hatred. We are all part of humanity no matter our beliefs, values or morals.  I wish there was more compassion expressed in this world.

If you want to express your compassion and aid you can contact the following:

( For links to each site click here to find the list from MSNBC)

Action Against Hunger, 877-777-1420

Agape Flights, 941-584-8078

American Red Cross, 800-733-2767

American Refugee Committee, 800-875-7060

American Jewish Joint Distribution Committee, 212-687-6200

American Jewish World Service, 212-792-2900

AmeriCares, 800-486-4357

Beyond Borders, 866-424-8403

B'nai B'rith International, 202-857-6600

CARE, 800-521-2273

CarmaFoundation

Catholic Relief Services, 800-736-3467

Childcare Worldwide, 800-553-2328

Church World Services, 800-297-1516

Clinton Foundation, 501-748-0471

Text "HAITI" to 20222 to donate $10 to Haiti relief

Clinton Bush Haiti Fund

Concern Worldwide, 212-557-8000

Convoy of Hope, 417-823-8998

Cross International, 800-391-8545

CRUDEM Foundation, 413-642-0450

CRWRC, 800-55-CRWRC

Direct Relief International, 805-964-4767
Doctors Without Borders, 888-392-0392

Episcopal Relief and Development, 800-334-7626

Feed My Starving Children, 763-504-2919

Food for the Poor, 800-427-9104

Friends of WFP, 866-929-1694

Friends of the Orphans, 312-386-7499

Habitat for Humanity, 1-800-422-4828

Haiti Children, 877-424-8454

Haiti Foundation Against Poverty

Haiti Marycare, 203-675-4770

Haitian Health Foundation, 860-886-4357

Healing Hands for Haiti, 651-769-5846

Hope for Haiti, 239-434-7183

International Child Care, 800-722-4453

International Medical Corps, 800-481-4462

International Rescue Committee, 877-733-8433

International Relief Teams, 619-284-7979

Islamic Relief USA, 888-479-4968

Lions Club International Foundation, 630-203-3836

Lutheran World Relief, 800-597-5972

Medical Benevolence Foundation, 800-547-7627

Medical Teams International, 800-959-4325

Meds and Food for Kids, 314-420-1634

Mennonite Central Committee, 888-563-4676

Mercy Corps, 888-256-1900

Nazarene Compassionate Ministries, 800-306-9950

New Life for Haiti, 815-436-7633

Operation Blessing, 800-730-2537

Operation USA, 800-678-7255

Oxfam, 800-776-9326

Partners in Health, 617-432-5298

RHEMA International, 248-652-9894

Rural Haiti Project, 347-405-5552

The Salvation Army, 800-725-2769

Samaritan's Purse, 828-262-1980

Save the Children, 800-728-3843
ShelterBox
UN Central Emergency Response Fund
UNICEF, 800-367-5437
United Methodist Committee on Relief, 800-554-8583
World Concern, 800-755-5022
World Hope International, 888-466-4673
World Relief, 800-535-5433
World Vision, 888-511-6548
Yele Haiti, 212-352-0552
Wyclef Jean's grassroots org
Text Yele to 501501 to donate $5 via cellphone


The U.S. State Department Operations Center said Americans seeking information about family members in Haiti should call 1-888-407-4747.

Worship in Song ~ "I Will Go" ~ Hillsong London

I have found myself in You, the purpose for my life
I discover who I am, as Your spirit touches mine
Every step I take, every move I make
You are by my side
And I will be strong, my strength is in you

I will go where You want me to go
I will do what You want me to do
Yes I will go where You want me to go
I will be who You want me to be

Anything for You
When You ask me I will go
You show the way before me
In Your word I find the truth
You lead me on this journey

Those who trust in you, ever praising You
Will find their strength renewd
I'm gonna make it, make it happen

Pastor Dave explains Romans 1

Pastor David Krueger-Duncan explains why Romans 1 should not be used to condemn gay and lesbian people.

Homosexuality: From It's a Sin to Christian Gay Rights Supporter ~ Part II of V

“The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 to heterosexuals. That doesn’t mean that God doesn’t love heterosexuals. It’s just that they need more supervision.” ~ Lynn Lavner [six admonishments are not true, but what is used against homosexuality by most Christians.]

What began my journey? For many years, my stance on homosexuality was basically to repeat back what the church told me, but something in the back of my mind couldn’t reconcile this issue. And, that was/is not my normal way of being. I also have friends and family who are homosexual and the same sex marriage issue has exploded in the United States. I have almost always questioned everything the church has said and have had to find satisfactory answers for myself; otherwise, it does not become my faith or belief. For me, this means that several things need to agree together, such as, what the Bible says, what my experiences are, and who I know God to be in my life and must agree with the original Greek and Hebrew and within the context of the culture in which the Bible was written.

With the issue of homosexuality, it has always bothered me as to how the church approached it especially as the above statements do not sound like the character of God at all. So, for the past two years, I have been researching both sides of the argument using the internet, several books which I will list at the end and interviewing people on both sides of the argument including people who have been involved in ministries to transform homosexuals into heterosexuals.

Most of what I have found is that those who condemn homosexuality use a literal interpretation of the Bible which does not account for the word “homosexual” not being used as a word until 1892. The Greek words used in the verses against homosexuality refer to such things as rape, power differential, orgies, adultery, cultural issues, sodomy and polygamy. As a culture they did not have an “idea” of homosexuality and it was not a word that they used, it is a modern day translation. In the verses that they use sodomy and homosexuality it is generally in reference to rape or that it was against the law because it was making a man like a woman, who was subservient. Remember, the culture highly relied on a patriarchal system and wives and daughters were possessions. Male superiority had to be maintained.

According to the book Jesus, the Bible, and Homosexuality by Jack Rogers, “you shall not lie with a woman; it is an abomination (Leviticus 18:22, 20:13). The Hebrew word ‘toevah,’ translated as “abomination,” refers here to something that makes a person ritually unclean, such as intercourse with a woman while she is menstruating. Ritual purity was considered necessary to distinguish the Israelites from their pagan neighbors.” Matthew 15 refers to the purity of one’s heart. Matthew 5 refers to Jesus fulfilling the Law.

Rogers further states, “the sin of Sodom is mentioned several times elsewhere in the Bible, but never in connection with homosexual acts. In the Old Testament references to Sodom, the sins of wealth, indifference to the poor, general wickedness and [refusal of hospitality for travelers who were often subjected to rape if no one was hospitable. Rape was the ultimate humiliation especially for men.] In the New Testament, when Jesus referred to the sin of Sodom, as recorded in Luke 10:20 and Matthew 10:15, he was passing judgment on cities that refused hospitality to his traveling disciples. A focus on the supposed homosexual aspect of the Sodom story comes only later, in nonbiblical literature, influenced by Greek philosophy, and also in the Muslim Qur’an.”

Rogers also points out that, “the definition of ‘sodomy’ has changed over time. In the Middle Ages it referred to any form of sexual expression that was not open to procreation. Then it focused on anal intercourse. Until the twentieth century, such sexual expression was viewed as wrong and often made illegal, whether by heterosexual or homosexual couples. Then, the law was narrowed in the United States to apply only to homosexuals.” So for me, I do not see God viewing homosexuality as a sin. The Bible actually, from the original versions, do not refer to homosexuality. Also, in the more modern day translations it is a very miniscule part of the Bible.

Many of the Christian arguments against homosexuality assume that it is a choice of a life style. What I am finding is that it is a very new area of research. The “opposition” mostly, take the Bible literally, passages are taken out of context of time and culture, they don't go back to the original Hebrew or Greek and they make the assumption that it is a choice. Most of the research is finding genetic components bodily differences and brain differences. However, it is still in it’s infancy of research and research needs to become more reproducible and have a larger participant count. So, scientific evidence seems inconclusive. But, for me, after what I have seen, read, talked with homosexuals and mental health professionals, I do not believe that it is a choice. It would be like forcing a left-handed person to write right-handed. They might be able to do it, but it wouldn’t be true to who they are.

Also, if it were a choice why would anyone want to put themselves through the prejudice from others and more significantly the tremendous emotional turmoil and, at times, excruciating pain that one goes through when they are exploring their sexual identity. It is a gut wrenching process to accept oneself as being gay and every homosexual has to go through this process and if they say that they never experienced that they are either in fooling themselves or are in denial.

I want to touch on some of the history of how homosexuals have been treated some of which appalled me or was quite disturbing…Look for it tomorrow.

“I don’t think homosexuality is a choice. Society forces you to think it’s a choice, but in fact, it’s in one’s nature. The choice is whether one expresses one’s nature truthfully or spends the rest of one’s life lying about it.” ~ Marlo Thomas

Child Abuse ~ "Dear Mr. Jesus" ~ PowerSource 1986

I first heard this song when I was 21 years old working at a runaway youth shelter. I was at the beginning, not even a year, with my current therapist. At the time, I had no realization how much like them my teenage years were, nor thought of myself as abused even though my mother was still slapping or slugging me in the back. However, when I heard this song for the first time, I had to pull over because I burst into sobs and didn't understand why. I thought, "maybe, I am just feeling for the kids (that I work with)." Boy, do I know different now and I thought in honor of my denial veil starting to shred that it would be a good time to post it.

The song is from the Christian group called PowerSource from their 1986 album Shelter from the Storm (Psalm 91:1). I doubt that they are in existence now. But, I wanted to share the verse with you which reads, "Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty."

There is also a verse (Psalm 27:10) that is listed below the song title and reads. "Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close." Which reminds me of one of my favorite verses for its comfort. It is Isaiah 49: (14)15-16 which reads, "But Zion said, 'The Lord has forsaken me, the Lord has forgotten me.' Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me."

These two verses are comforting to me as I know what it feels like to be abandoned and rejected by my mother and my father, but I know that God created me, never has and never will abandon or reject me. These verses are very special to me as when I read them I felt as if they were speaking directly to my soul.

(I know, I got all religious on you, but that is a part of who I am also and the purpose of the blog is for me to be myself. And, I felt like I just had to write this.) May you be blessed today! CC

Being a Christian with Mental Illness ~ STIGMA!!!

May be, triggering. Do not read, if you cannot handle church related issues. Please do not try because it triggered me!!

Most of you by now know that I am a Christian. Now, I don't want this to turn anyone off to Christianity because we all know there is stigma everywhere and this does not exclude the church, in fact, I think it is even more difficult to have a mental illness if you are part of a church. Also, what I am going to share is one person's opinion.

I'm part of this Christian social network which is sort of like Facebook for Christians. It has been a source of pain, anger, frustration and confusion. My feelings have been really hurt by well meaning people who haven't got a clue or have their own issues that they project onto me.

The church like non-church people are not knowledgeable or scared of mental illness because they don't understand or misunderstand. Sometimes, when people are scared or don't understand things, they think more simply like everything is good or evil; black or white. The church tends to split anyway. The church is far from perfect and I think they also tend to do this with mental illness in general or just don't know how to handle it and avoid it. People, unfortunately avoid me or I them because I don't feel safe. They just do not know what to say and do mean well. Sometimes, I just want to yell, "I'm a human first and I'm not contageious."

Anyway, at this site, I was going to leave, but decided to stay and keep mental illness in the forefront. So, once a week, I've been posting something on my blog about mental illness and start at least one discussion. My therapist told me today that this is a part of me that he really likes...the edgy side, the one that likes to stir up the pot. My intent is as long as I feel I have the energy that I will continue to do this. However, yesterday, I became really angry and today my therapist talked about how it tapped into my anger about all the cult stuff including the brain washing. I really felt like I need to share it.

This was one of my two questions and explanation for the week, "Quick what are the first two thoughts you have when I say, mental illness? I have asked this question in another online community with interesting results. First, be honest, don't give me "the Christian" answer. I want your gut honest feelings and thoughts. (You can find out more about mental illness at my blog and in "I Am Effected By Mental Illness," group). Remember be honest...no judgement here."

I've had some really touching, real answers and some of what I expected as misinformation including this one from one of the women. What I was surprised about was how angry and how much energy I am and have spent on it. TRIGGERS!!!

This was one of the replies, "I wanted to respond, I know you asked not for the "christian" answer but I do not know how else to answer. My thoughts, personal beliefs, experience, is.... That mental illness in all shapes and forms are spirits sent by satan. I suffered from clinical depression for years, but when I surrendered it all to Jesus he set me free from that, so I know that there is a cure, it's called Jesus! But God showed me that any type of illness, whether it be physical or mental all come from one place, " The devil" and God said that he has given us power." She followed it with some Bible verses.

By the way, one of the first thoughts in my head was what does surrendering it all to Jesus look like, what do you do, what does that mean? I know what it means to me, but what do you mean? I also had the sense that she was angry and also where did the depression go. My guess is that she hid behind the "Christian, I gave it to God and he healed me."

Now, I am a confident believer in healing, so I don't want that to be misrepresented. It is just that I see Christians hide behind it too often. Even with their inability to look at abortion, adultry, divorce, homosexuality and mental illness, as real issues that Christians face. Some bitterly attack these issues and cause people not to talk about it in church because they do not want to accept reality that it exists in the church. Now, this is my opinion. What is called from us, is acceptance of the person, get to know the person, no judgement because we have all sinned and not all of these issues are sins of the person. Anyway, I could go on.

I waited until I responded to her answer with this, "Thank you for sharing. I want to find out what people really think. However, I had a different type of reaction to your answer compared to others even though I expected it among the possible answers. I felt angry about what you were saying. From a very young age, I was told that I was evil, shouldn’t have been born, was the devil’s spawn and was bloodied from a beating that was to “beat the devil out of me.” I was constantly told and things were done to me that meant “I had evil spirits in me.” Well, all of that was a lie and I was being used to fulfill their evil purposes including sexual abuse. I actually was a well-behaved child, obedient, quiet and never got into any trouble.

As a child, it made me feel like I was bad, didn’t deserve to live and that I was evil. Even now, I have difficulty with these issues. I am no longer angry, but it does make me wonder with this belief system how those with medical and mental health issues feel around you. I would feel like you would be blaming me that my relationship with Jesus is not in order, but nobody’s relationship is. We are all a work in progress. Obviously, I do not share your beliefs. I think in rare cases that illnesses are related to evil spirits or Satan. In most mental illness, there are actual chemical changes that occur in the brain. Mine has much to do with my being abused.

I also know about spiritual warfare and have been involved in many prayer groups where we are trained to expect it. However, you are right, it does have to do with evil…the evil that was done to me. I am not “blaming” my childhood on my difficulties now because I am taking responsibility by taking my medication, going to psychotherapy with a Christian therapist, talking about the unspeakable, connecting with others, remaining in relationship with God and my local church who also support me in prayer and working on making changes in my thoughts and behavior."

I'm feeling better now that I've shared it here. God, I really pray she doesn't come to read my blog. I doubt it, but no it is okay. I just gave my opinion in a somewhat diplomatic way. Please do not attack the church in your comments, it will just make me want to defend or I'll agree with you and become angry.