Therapy: At times, clinically I was aware of the process, but applying it to myself, I could be clueless. My journey leads to this anonymous place where I can tell of my life of abuse and trauma primarily through my past journals, current commentary, some current journaling and posts on specific issues I face. I hope to increase awareness & compassion for those of us with mental illness.
Click on the tab that you want. Scroll down to posts to read.
Welcome!!! Please, if you are new here, READ THIS FIRST!!! Thank You!!!
Thank you for visiting. Content MAY BE TRIGGERING ESPECIALLY FOR THOSE WHO HAVE EXPERIENCED ABUSE, STRUGGLE WITH SELF-INJURY, SUICIDE, DEPRESSION OR AN EATING DISORDER. Contains graphic descriptions of suicidal thoughts, self-injury and emotional, physical and sexual abuse. Do not read further if you are not in a safe place. If you are triggered, please reach out to your support system, a mental health professional or call 911.
Disclaimer: Although I have worked with persons with mental illness for twenty years, I do not have a Master's Degree or a license. This is not meant to be a substitute for mental health care or treatment. Please obtain professional assistance from the resources listed on the right of the page, if needed. And call 911 if you or someone is in immediate danger.
A key word that you will see:
Fragmentation: a mental process where a person becomes intensely emotionally focused on one aspect of themselves, such as “I am angry” or “no one loves me,” to the point where all thoughts, feelings and behavior demonstrate this emotional state, in which, the person does not or is unable to take into account the reality of their environment, others or themselves and their resources. This is a term that my therapist and I use and is on the continuum of dissociation.
I am struggling with the shame guilt the absolute disgust of my homosexuality because of my christianity and it is killing us at my age I am confused and in hiding this is so hard
I don't know if this helps, but one suggestion is to read my posts from October 12 2009 through October 19, 2009. It does give a few references to helpful books.
Your struggle is not an uncommon one. It is like you have to hide who you are and feels like your living a lie along with hating yourself (judging). It is up to you to determine whether or not to come out...but make sure that you are prepared.
You might check the internet for Gay Christian Couselors. One place is http://laghc.org/. This is for Los Angeles, but there probaly is a a way to contact them to find someone in your area or to obtain support...there are lots of people in your situation!!
Remember always that God loves you, no matter what you think or what others tell you. In essence, Christianity comes down to acceptance and love...just as Jesus lived his life.
The "R" (Retard) Word is Unacceptable! Stop Using it!!
Find Out Why
For My Answer, At the bottom of the page, do a search, "homosexuality series" and include the quotations.
"For the Bible Tells Me So"
It Gets Better
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND ACCEPTABLE THE WAY YOU ARE!!
I AM A CHILD OF GOD
Hidden Pieces: My Life of Abuse
Click Picture For More Information About My Life
Effects of Child Sexual Abuse
Click Picture to Read My Personal Story
Click Picture to Learn More About Borderline Personality Disorder
Click Picture To Learn More About Eating Disorders
Click Picture to Learn More About Self-injury
Click Picture for More Information About Major Depression
Click Picture to Learn About Mental Heath and Other Important Issues & Some Fun Topics
When You Get To The Last Post Click Older Posts For More Posts
One of "THOSE" letters!!
Click the Picture to Find Out More. Also, look at later date like September & October 2009 to read more about my family's reaction. Blogger is not cooperationing with the search!
2 comments:
I am struggling with the shame guilt the absolute disgust of my homosexuality because of my christianity and it is killing us at my age I am confused and in hiding this is so hard
I don't know if this helps, but one suggestion is to read my posts from October 12 2009 through October 19, 2009. It does give a few references to helpful books.
Your struggle is not an uncommon one. It is like you have to hide who you are and feels like your living a lie along with hating yourself (judging). It is up to you to determine whether or not to come out...but make sure that you are prepared.
You might check the internet for Gay Christian Couselors. One place is http://laghc.org/. This is for Los Angeles, but there probaly is a a way to contact them to find someone in your area or to obtain support...there are lots of people in your situation!!
Remember always that God loves you, no matter what you think or what others tell you. In essence, Christianity comes down to acceptance and love...just as Jesus lived his life.
Feel free to contact me anytime.
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