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Thank you for visiting. Content MAY BE TRIGGERING ESPECIALLY FOR THOSE WHO HAVE EXPERIENCED ABUSE, STRUGGLE WITH SELF-INJURY, SUICIDE, DEPRESSION OR AN EATING DISORDER. Contains graphic descriptions of suicidal thoughts, self-injury and emotional, physical and sexual abuse. Do not read further if you are not in a safe place. If you are triggered, please reach out to your support system, a mental health professional or call 911.

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Disclaimer: Although I have worked with persons with mental illness for twenty years, I do not have a Master's Degree or a license. This is not meant to be a substitute for mental health care or treatment. Please obtain professional assistance from the resources listed on the right of the page, if needed. And call 911 if you or someone is in immediate danger.

A key word that you will see:

Fragmentation: a mental process where a person becomes intensely emotionally focused on one aspect of themselves, such as “I am angry” or “no one loves me,” to the point where all thoughts, feelings and behavior demonstrate this emotional state, in which, the person does not or is unable to take into account the reality of their environment, others or themselves and their resources. This is a term that my therapist and I use and is on the continuum of dissociation.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Graduate School Progress

Well, I owe you an update.  I did go on my pre-interview at Argosy and it went well She seemed to really like me. I was able to be myself despite being 20 minutes late as I became hopelessly lost. If I get all of my information in, during August 2012 or sooner, I will know by the end of this year whether or not I am admitted. Wouldn't that be a great potential Christmas gift.  I had the interview on a Monday and by Tuesday morning, my application process had begun.  I just need my GRE score and I take the test on July 24th and my letters of recommendation need to be received.

A couple of things have changed.  One, the class schedule is all over the place...some evening, some morning, some afternoon and some on Saturday.  The other part is that they now require the dreaded GRE.  I do horrible on standardized tests.  The other part is that I haven't been in school in twenty years, so I am so rusty on the stuff on the GRE. 

Another thing came up, I found a school that I prefer over Argosy which seems to suit my needs better.  It is Alliant International University and is only 4 years instead of 5, class schedule is stable, I know others who have gone through the program, it is only two miles from my therapist and they seem to have higher standards.  The last part is both a blessing and a curse. 

Alliant International University
Since, I've been out of school for sooooooooooo long, I need to take the subject test in Psychology.  There has been so many new things and research since I graduated. Instead of taking the courses of which I know much of the information, I've purchased the textbooks and plan to use them.  I'm actually looking forward to this part. The same part occurs with if they receive all the information before the end of the year, I might know by the beginning of next year.

Boy, have textbooks gone up in price, but they have been purchased.  My essays, application, resume and fees are being sent out today.  I really want to get into Alliant, but I can't put all of my hopes into this program.  But, it is hard not too.  Meanwhile, I have to study for the General GRE test for now.  Yikes!!!

I've actually applied to two schools for my doctorate in clinical psychology!!  I am planning to start Fall of 2013.

Friday, April 6, 2012

Manhattan Beach: Homophobia, Myths & Hate

Here in California, many men were arrested for unlawful sexual activity. Many media outlets have had reports on this, "Lifeguards had also previously found graffiti of graphic sexual images on restroom walls, and holes drilled through stall partitions, the Breeze reports. Prior to the arrests, detectives also monitored chat rooms and social media sites, where they learned that the restroom had become a popular meeting spot for local men to engage in sex, NBC Southern California notes.

The 18 suspects were reportedly held on suspicion of offenses such as soliciting or engaging in lewd conduct in a public place, loitering in and around a public toilet for the purpose of engaging or soliciting a lewd or unlawful act, utilizing a restroom peephole, invasion of privacy, resisting arrest and indecent exposure."  All of these report that the men are gay.

When I first heard this story, I was angry that so much time was given to it on the news as I believe that it would not have garnered this amount of air time if the men were not homosexual.  I'm not saying that the men did nothing wrong, but I am saying that it was only big news because the men were homosexual.  Their actions should not have been in a public area, but it was consentual.  So, I was angry anyway. 

Then, their pictures, date of birth and the city in which they live were shown on televison and all over the internet.  Again, I believe that this would not have happened if the men were not homosexual.  They haven't even had been in court yet and have been released.  Why was it necessary to post the pictures in such detail?  That usually only happens for predators, child molesters, and in an effort to arrest someone who has committed more serious acts.

One of the men was "outed" by this article.  I can only imagine what turmoil this has caused in his life.  But you think people understand and don't follow the myths of homosexuality, think again.  The comments on the Internet have been so hateful and just down right incorrect.  We have a long way to go to end the hatred, misconceptions and understanding of homosexuals. 

Here are some of the comments: 

I hope they will all be required to register as sex offenders (I they aren’t already registered)

They all look like pig’s. Ugly reject’s. I hope they are all registered as sex offender’s and banned from ever walking a public park, or beach.

Can we just stop funneling money to AIDS Research this is such a preventable desease. You obviously can’t educate sick freaks like this. That find another mans ugly dirty ass an appatizing yet disgusting piece of enjoyment. These people are programed diffrently and should not receive $1 dollar of tax payers money.

Why use more advanced primates like Chimpanzees for medical research when we have such low end, evolutionary challenged, knuckle dragging primates like ‘Daman’ to use instead!

Should have corralled all 18 of 'em FREAKS in that cess pool & then hit that place with a goddamn TOMAHAWK MISSILE; that would have been your US DEFENSE $$$ DOLLARS well spent!

Yuck, what a bunch of sicko's. What's our country coming to?

When they write the book on the decline and fall of the American Empire ( it should be coming soon ) Freaks like this should figure largely into the why it happened. Sick sick sick.

They sure do look like perverts!

Thanks to Manhattan Beach PD for getting these pervs off the streets of our community!
These 18 deviants should thank the Lord above that this is not Iran or the Taliban. Here’s a question for you Anthony……..If this was Iran or the Taliban, do you think any of these freaks would still be alive? You are complaining that CBS posted their photographs? Shut up Anthony.

It is a deviant act.

After seeing their photos it explains alot - it's the only way these ugly freaks will ever get laid.  PATHETIC LOSERS

See, this is why people are against gay rights!!!  If they're not having a nasty parade with leather pants, then they're trying to f__k each other in public bathrooms by overtaking them.  Unfortunately if you vote for gay rights, you're voting for perverse public activities and they're trying to make you feel guilty for discriminating against nasty sex acts.

Yea, arrest all of them. Nasty M___ F___!!!!

Gay public sex pervs should be given 30 years to life...

The cops should’ve lock ‘em up in jail until they all lost their jobs & become real lowlifes.  Creepy Freaks.

these guys are gross and disgusting

There were also many people who were supportive and spoke back to these comments and many critized the media for posting the pictures.

This is a statement from Darrel Cummings, chief of staff at the local LGBT center:
"It's shocking that any news operation, but especially an affiliate of a major network like CBS, would choose to publish the mug shots, names and birthdates of people charged with victimless crimes, simply because the charges are salacious or related to gay sex. Naturally we don't condone illegal activity of any kind, but these men haven't been proven guilty and historically, charges such as those leveled against them have involved police entrapment. Publishing their photos serves no purpose other than to humiliate and destroy their lives. We call on KCBS/KCAL to immediately remove the images and names from their website."
These men are not perverts, deviants or homeless. They have respectable lives, but many resort to this illegal behavior as they are afraid to come out to a homophobic world. The stigma is soooo strong and there is for many much shame, so they get their needs met anonymously knowing the risks.

Because the media posted pictures, with dates of birth, and city in which they live and some weres "outed" to everyone including family, work, friends, etc. The picture has turned their world upside down and life as they knew it.

What they did was illegal and extremely dangerous, but the major problem is that the pictures were released which probably wouldn't have happened and this probably wouldn't have been such big news had they not been gay...welcome back to the 1950s and 1960s.




I AM SOOOOOO ANGRY FOR THE POSTING OF THE PICTURES AND NAMES, WHERE THEY LIVE AND DATES OF BIRTH!!!!

So, what do you think?

Isaiah 49 :15 -16

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