- Do you sense that your sexual thoughts and/or behaviors are causing problems in your life?
- Have sexual thoughts interfered with your ability to function at work or at school?
- Do you worry that your sexual thoughts and/or behaviors are more powerful than you are?
- Do you sometimes think that you are the only person who has certain sexual thoughts or engages in certain sexual behaviors?
- Do you fail to meet commitments or fail to carry out responsibilities because of your involvement with pornography?
- Do you struggle to control or completely stop your thinking about or viewing pornography?
- Do you view pornography in order to escape, deny, or numb your feelings?
- Do you think about sex more than you would like to?
- Do you spend more money than you can afford to spend on pornography?
- Does it seem as though there is another person or force inside of you that drives you to pornography?
- Do you have two standards of fidelity -- one for yourself and one for your spouse or partner?
- Do you feel empty or shameful after viewing or masturbating using pornography?
- Have you ever promised yourself that you would never again view pornography?
- Do you use pornography to deal with, deny, or avoid problems in your life?
- Do you risk legal problems in order to view pornography?
- Do you anxiously anticipate or fear trips out of town because of what you think you might do sexually while you're away?
- When you have child care responsibilities, do you put a higher priority on masturbating or being sexual than you do on the welfare of the child(ren) in your care?
- Do your sexual thoughts and/or behaviors interfere with your spiritual or religious life? Do your sexual thoughts and/or behaviors cause you to believe that you don't deserve to have a religious or spiritual life?
- Have you lost a job or risked losing a job because of your involvement with pornography?
- Do you scan printed material (novels, newspapers, magazines) or change channels on the television set just to find something that will stimulate you sexually?
- Do you regularly view pornography or engage in fantasies involving self-abuse or other kinds of physical abuse?
- Do you dig through other people's garbage to find pornography?
- Would you rather masturbate than be sexual with a partner?
- Do you drive around unfamiliar neighborhoods (cruise) hoping to find places where pornography is available?
- Do you look at pornography or masturbate while driving?
- Have you replaced a collection of pornographic material after destroying one collection and vowing never to purchase pornography again?
- Has an important relationship in your life ended because of your inability to stop looking at pornography?
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Disclaimer: Although I have worked with persons with mental illness for twenty years, I do not have a Master's Degree or a license. This is not meant to be a substitute for mental health care or treatment. Please obtain professional assistance from the resources listed on the right of the page, if needed. And call 911 if you or someone is in immediate danger.
A key word that you will see:
Fragmentation: a mental process where a person becomes intensely emotionally focused on one aspect of themselves, such as “I am angry” or “no one loves me,” to the point where all thoughts, feelings and behavior demonstrate this emotional state, in which, the person does not or is unable to take into account the reality of their environment, others or themselves and their resources. This is a term that my therapist and I use and is on the continuum of dissociation.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
The following is from epromos:
Monday, June 27, 2011
- Breathing the same air as someone who is HIV-positive
- Touching a toilet seat or doorknob handle after an HIV-positive person
- Drinking from a water fountain
- Hugging, kissing, or shaking hands with someone who is HIV-positive
- Sharing eating utensils with an HIV-positive person
- Using exercise equipment at a gym
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Friday, June 24, 2011
Thursday, June 23, 2011
|Armory: Doug Aitken “Vulnerable” at 303 Gallery.|
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Monday, June 20, 2011
My therapist also reminded me that I have not been able to get around much, so I've been very sedentary. This definitely does not help the situation. He also emphasized that I need to keep eating because my body needs nutrients to heal my sprained ankle and respiratory system and recover completely from my pneumonia. (My doctor who is treating me for my respiratory system also told me that it will take more than three months to feel back to the way I was before my pneumonia...sheesh)
My mind when Borderline racing before my session, but I was able to use some coping skills with help to calm myself down. I came out of my distorted thinking to reality. It was quite an agonizing process, but well worth it. Oh and did I ever fight every step of the way!! :-)
I also not stepped on a scale in a month, but boy am I tempted today. I'm still eating about 5-6 times per day which is the goal. I started to obsess about what I was eating and the amount. My therapist stopped me and asked what the only goal is for this time in my struggle with my eating disorder? ANSWER: Simply, eat something 6 times per day.
I wonder if you have a goal that is simple that you add extra stipulations that are not necessary? I don't want to feel alone in this so please share. (yes, a cheap attempt at getting comments, but I really do what you to think about this issue. It is quite helpful). Take care of yourself!!
Friday, June 17, 2011
This video collage was produced just weeks before the United States' 2003 invasion of Iraq - and projected at a concert the week of the invasion. The audio is from that concert of the Gay Men's Chorus of Los Angeles.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
He erased all doubt that the Prop. 8 trial was anything but fair and thorough and sent a powerful message that extreme fringe groups cannot strong-arm the law.From the San Francisco Chronicle:
SAN FRANCISCO -- A federal judge refused Tuesday to set aside a former colleague's ruling overturning California's ban on same-sex marriage and said the jurist's long-term relationship with another man was not a legitimate reason to accuse him of bias.
"It is not reasonable to presume that a judge is incapable of making an impartial decision about the constitutionality of a law solely because, as a citizen, the judge could be affected by the proceedings," Chief U.S. District Judge James Ware said in rejecting conflict-of-interest charges against his predecessor, Vaughn Walker.
Sponsors of Proposition 8, the November 2008 initiative barring gay and lesbian marriages, had asked Ware to nullify Walker's ruling in August against the measure and declare that he should not have heard the case.
They said his disclosure in April, six weeks after his retirement from the bench, of his 10-year same-sex relationship showed he had a stake in the outcome of the lawsuit challenging Prop. 8.
Although Walker has not said whether he and his partner intend to marry, Prop. 8's backers argued that his silence entitles the public to presume they were planning to wed when he presided over the trial in January 2010.
Ware, who heard arguments over Walker's role in San Francisco on Monday, disagreed. The fact that a judge is in a relationship, he said, doesn't necessarily mean he is "so interested in marrying the person that he would be unable to exhibit the impartiality which, it is presumed, all federal judges maintain."
A gay judge is entitled to rule in a gay-rights case, even if his decision could provide him "some speculative future benefit," Ware said.
He said disqualifying Walker because he is a member of a group potentially affected by his ruling would also require "recusal of minority judges in most, if not all, civil rights cases."
Besides, Ware said, the Prop. 8 case did not affect only a minority group.
"We all have an equal stake in a case that challenges the constitutionality of a restriction on a fundamental right," he said.
The judge also rejected arguments that Walker had been legally obliged to disclose his relationship before the trial. Courts have required judges to reveal close ties to people with a financial interest in a case, or to a lawyer for one of the parties, Ware said. But Walker had no duty to disclose "intimate, but irrelevant, details about his personal life," he said.
Prop. 8's sponsors, a conservative religious coalition called Protect Marriage, said it disagreed with the ruling, without going into detail.
"Our legal team will appeal that decision and continue our tireless efforts to defend the will of the people of California to preserve marriage as the union of a man and a woman," said attorney Charles Cooper.
Walker ruled that Prop. 8 discriminates on the basis of sexual orientation and gender. The Ninth U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in San Francisco has put the decision on hold while it considers an appeal from Protect Marriage, whose legal standing to argue the case is under review in the state Supreme Court.
Theodore Boutrous, a lawyer for two same-sex couples who challenged Prop. 8, said Ware's ruling "makes it clear that gay and lesbian judges are entitled to the same presumption of fairness and impartiality as all other federal judges."E-mail Bob Egelko at email@example.com.
Distict Court Denies Motion to Vacate Prop. 8 Ruling
June 14, 2011
Quotes of note:
“The sole fact that a federal judge shares the same circumstances or personal characteristics with, other members of the general public, and that the judge could be affected by the outcome of a proceeding in the same way that other members of the general public would be affected, is not a basis for either recusal or disqualification under Section 455(b)(4). Further, under Section 455(a), it is not reasonable to presume that a judge is incapable of making an impartial decision about the constitutionality of a law, solely because, as a citizen, the judge could be affected by the proceedings. Accordingly, the Motion to Vacate Judgment on the sole ground of Judge Walker’s same-sex relationship is DENIED.”
“The fact that a federal judge shares a fundamental characteristic with a litigant, or shares membership in a large association such as a religion, has been categorically rejected by federal courts as a sole basis for requiring a judge to recuse her or himself.”
“Further, such a standard “would come dangerously close to holding that minority judges must disqualify themselves from all major civil rights actions.” Alabama, 828 F.2d at 1542.”
“These cases lead the Court to adopt the following legal conclusion: In a case that could affect the general public based on the circumstances or characteristics of various members of that public, the fact that a federal judge happens to share the same circumstances or characteristic and will only be affected in a similar manner because the judge is a member of the public, is not a basis for disqualifying the judge under Section 455(b)(4).”
“Requiring recusal because a court issued an injunction that could provide some speculative future benefit to the presiding judge solely on the basis of the fact that the judge belongs to the class against whom the unconstitutional law was directed would lead to a Section 455(b)(4) standard that required recusal of minority judges in most, if not all, civil rights cases.”
“The single characteristic that Judge Walker shares with the Plaintiffs, albeit one that might not have been shared with the majority of Californians, gave him no greater interest in a proper decision on the merits than would exist for any other judge or citizen.”
“[D]isqualifying Judge Walker based on an inference that he intended to take advantage of a future legal benefit made available by constitutional protections would result in an unworkable standard for disqualification. Under such a standard, disqualification would be based on assumptions about the amorphous personal feelings of judges in regards to such intimate and shifting matters as future desire to undergo an abortion, to send a child to a particular university or to engage in family planning. So too here, a test inquiring into the presiding judge’s desire to enter into the institution of marriage with a member of the same sex, now or in the future, would require reliance upon similarly elusive factors.”
“Thus, to base a recusal standard on future subjective intent to take advantage of constitutional rights is to create an inadministrable test, frustrating congressional efforts to protect judicial integrity with a clear, mandatory recusal statute.”
“In this context, the “reasonable person” is not someone who is “hypersensitive or unduly suspicious,” but rather a “well-informed, thoughtful observer” who “understand[s] all the relevant facts” and “has examined the record and law.””
“A well-informed, thoughtful observer would recognize that the mere fact that a judge is in a relationship with another person–whether of the same or the opposite sex–does not ipso facto imply that the judge must be so interested in marrying that person that he would be unable to exhibit the impartiality which, it ispresumed, all federal judges maintain…To assume otherwise is to engage in speculation about a judge’s motives and desires on the basis of an unsubstantiatedsuspicion that the judge is personally biased or prejudiced. Mere speculation of that nature does not trigger the recusal requirements of Section 455(a).”
“In fact, the Court observes that Judge Walker, like all judges, had a duty to preserve the integrity of the judiciary. Among other things, this means that if, in an overabundance of caution, he were to have disclosed intimate, but irrelevant, details about his personal life that were not reasonably related to the question of disqualification, he could have set a pernicious precedent. Such a precedent would be detrimental to the integrity of the judiciary, because it would promote, incorrectly, disclosure by judges of highly personal information (e.g., information about a judge’s history of being sexually abused as a child), however irrelevant or time-consuming. Contrary to the intent of Section 455, which was designed to preserve judicial integrity through practices of transparency, it is clear that fostering the practice of commencing a judicial proceeding with an extensive exploration into the history and psyche of the presiding judge would produce the spurious appearance that irrelevant personal information could impact the judge’s decision-making, which would be harmful to the integrity of the courts.”
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
- The flag should be lighted at all times, either by sunlight or by an appropriate light source.
- The flag should be flown in fair weather, unless the flag is designed for inclement weather use.
- The flag should never be dipped to any person or thing. It is flown upside down only as a distress signal.
- The flag should not be used for any decoration in general. Bunting of blue, white and red stripes is available for these purposes. The blue stripe of the bunting should be on the top.
- The flag should never be used for any advertising purpose. It should not be embroidered, printed or otherwise impressed on such articles as cushions, handkerchiefs, napkins, boxes, or anything intended to be discarded after temporary use. Advertising signs should not be attached to the staff or halyard.
- The flag should not be used as part of a costume or athletic uniform, except that a flag patch may be used on the uniform of military personnel, fireman, policeman and members of patriotic organizations.
- The flag should never have any mark, insignia, letter, word, number, figure, or drawing of any kind placed on it, or attached to it.
- The flag should never be used for receiving, holding, carrying, or delivering anything.
- When the flag is lowered, no part of it should touch the ground or any other object; it should be received by waiting hands and arms. To store the flag it should be folded neatly and ceremoniously.
- The flag should be cleaned and mended when necessary.
- When a flag is so worn it is no longer fit to serve as a symbol of our country, it should be destroyed by burning in a dignified manner.
The History Of Flag Day
Monday, June 13, 2011
Friday, June 10, 2011
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Well, yesterday my therapist and I spent the whole 90 minutes talking about my health and not taking care of myself. We spoke on the telephone and he was "in my face." (in a good way...I deserved it).
We had a telephone session beause I wan't feeling well. I was achy, tired and had a deeper cough. Which means that I've been doing too much and I got a little worse. Well, that's part of the trouble. On Monday, I was out of the house from 10-4 and Tuesday from 10-2. Way too much. I should have only run one errand then them all.
But, no I have to go and be stubborn. I'm finding out that I feel "bad" because I think that I should be doing somethings as I feel a bit better. So, I do more than I should be including organizing my clothes and such as a way not to feel "bad" and "worthless."
I'm in sort of a denial about pneumonia being potentially serious and that I've already been hospitalized in the past with it. I also able to be more mobile without needing the crutches. My therapist has instructed my husband to take them away if I reinjure my ankle, so that I won't go anywhere.
Basically, I know that I need rest and to do nothing.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
This is from the official White House site:
The White House
Office of the Press Secretary
For Immediate Release May 28, 2010
Presidential Proclamation--Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Pride Month
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Monday, June 6, 2011
Friday, June 3, 2011
Isn't that interesting especially where the term "doughboy" came from. All of the pictures except for the assorted donuts are from donut places in my area in Southern California. Donut Man's fresh peach and strawberry (pictured) are fabulous and are only made seasonally. Must be eaten with knife and fork.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
I've noticed since Mother's Day that I have definitely become more comfortable in accepting who I am. The first picture is one that I own and am wearing the others I am thinking about purchasing. I'm making bold statements, via t-shirts, and feeling proud. I'm beginning not to think so much about what others think or say, but I'm simply stating this is who I am. The following t-shirts were purchase from CafePress: