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Thank you for visiting. Content MAY BE TRIGGERING ESPECIALLY FOR THOSE WHO HAVE EXPERIENCED ABUSE, STRUGGLE WITH SELF-INJURY, SUICIDE, DEPRESSION OR AN EATING DISORDER. Contains graphic descriptions of suicidal thoughts, self-injury and emotional, physical and sexual abuse. Do not read further if you are not in a safe place. If you are triggered, please reach out to your support system, a mental health professional or call 911.

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Disclaimer: Although I have worked with persons with mental illness for twenty years, I do not have a Master's Degree or a license. This is not meant to be a substitute for mental health care or treatment. Please obtain professional assistance from the resources listed on the right of the page, if needed. And call 911 if you or someone is in immediate danger.

A key word that you will see:

Fragmentation: a mental process where a person becomes intensely emotionally focused on one aspect of themselves, such as “I am angry” or “no one loves me,” to the point where all thoughts, feelings and behavior demonstrate this emotional state, in which, the person does not or is unable to take into account the reality of their environment, others or themselves and their resources. This is a term that my therapist and I use and is on the continuum of dissociation.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

One Year Anniversary!!

I know that this is not a pretty picture, but to me it represents more than 30 years struggling with self injury.  Sometime (I don't have an exact date), this month I have been completely self injury free for one year!!!  Such a tough time and such an accomplishment.  I still have thoughts and sometimes really "loud" ones like this week, but I've been able to manage my feelings and impulses better.  One goal that I have is that I am not going to end up in the hospital again!!!  This last year has been a quite a battle.  Happy Anniversay to Me!!!


Pilgrim said...

Happy Anniversary :) That is really, really incredible. Its HARD to go a long time without SI. Congratulations on the hard work of making it through-- you have every right to be really proud of yourself!

Borderline Lil said...

Congratulations! A year SI-free is a great achievement.

Clueless said...

Hi Me!,

Thanks for leaving a comment. I need to check out your blog. I can't believe it has been one year!! Thank you for your kind words.

Hi Borderline Lil,

Nice picture. Thanks for the congratulations. Hooray!! What a struggle, but I am hopeful that I can continue this.

Unknown said...

May it continue.

Clueless said...


Yes, indeed. Like an addict, relapse is quite a possibility. Thanking God for his presence and surrounding me with a good support system.

Sizzledowski said...

Thanks for posting on my blog. Even if you don't have an iPod, iTunes is free, and you can listen to the podcasts on your computer.

Hope to hear from you again! I will check out your blog later today (at work now).


Gail said...


HAPPY ANNIVERSARY# on your one year - whole year - 1/0th of a decade -1/100th of a century! :-)

Love Gail

Just Be Real said...

Congrats and happy anniversary. It is very important I think to celebrate milestones. Blessings dear.

Clueless said...

Thank you for the tip! I'll visit again!!

take care,

Gail, thank you for your kind words. One full year is such a great accomplishment for me!!!


Thank you! I'm so happy that I've made it to this point. Yes, it is a big milestone.

Angela Lovell said...


Congratulations on your one year anniversary.

I can't imagine what it would be like to self-injure and hope I never do but I can appreciate the depths of despair that must be behind it and I am so glad that you are winning the battle.

Your writings are an inspiration for many and it has been a priviledge to read (and write) with you at Go Smell the Coffee for the past few months.

Keep it up and have a big slice of anniversary cake on me!

Clueless said...

Thank you so much Angela. I really appreciate you words and encouragement. I like writing with you on GSTC also.

Patricia Singleton said...

Congratulations on your one-year anniversary. I do know with my overeating some days are just easier than others. Thanks for your comment on my blog recently and for coming back to explain "going away."

Clueless said...

Thank you Patricia...my many addictions including anorexia have its ups and downs too, but at least it is progress. Take care, CC

Isaiah 49 :15 -16

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